Pavel Ostrovsky in contact. Archpriest Konstantin Ostrovsky: I think we raised our sons well

Archpriest Konstantin Ostrovsky, rector of the Assumption Church in Krasnogorsk, dean of churches in Krasnogorsk District, 4 sons and 6 grandchildren. Three sons followed in his footsteps, and one chose the monastic path and today is already a bishop, rector Kolomna Seminary... Father Konstantin told "Bata" what he considers most important in raising children, how a family can cope with life's difficulties, about his family and the separation of the roles of husband and wife.

Roles - male and female

- Father Konstantin, you grew up without a father from the age of ten. Feel like you lack a man's upbringing?

- I understood this in hindsight. Mom and grandmother raised me with love, but, of course, the fact that there was no man in the house except me, a boy, is not very good. It is important that the child sees the good, orderly relationships of the parents, the boy is an example of paternal behavior, the girl is maternal, and when the family is incomplete (no matter for what reasons), there is no such example. Then it can be compensated - everything is possible for God.

I think that in my life this was compensated by God Himself at the time of churching. My ideas about how a family should be built have changed dramatically. Her inviolability, the obedience of children to their parents, the division of roles have entered my soul so deeply, as if I grew up in such a family, although I have never seen anything like it, and I have not read anywhere about it. But it became clear to me that the husband is the head of the family, everyone must obey him, he must provide for the family, and the wife must take care of the household. True, her fourth pregnancy was difficult, and then I had to do a lot around the house, but I explained to her: I help you not as a husband, but as a brother.

- And it happens that the wife usually cooks, but the husband has his own specialties, which he does not trust her.

- The particulars do not matter. If the father prepares pilaf or dumplings, this is a family ritual.

I want to clarify that I am not imposing anything on anyone. Moreover, I do not want someone from my words to conclude that his wife should leave work. My wife is not a lover of social activities, it was organic for her not to work, but to take care of children, and we both agreed that the main thing for children was home education. I believe that it is more natural this way: the husband is a leader, he is responsible for the family (in all senses: material, mental, spiritual), and the wife is a reliable rear, supports her husband and takes care of the children. But if the husband forcibly puts his wife at home, it will not do anything good.

And when both spouses are working, they come home in the evening, the wife is preparing dinner, and the husband is watching TV or sitting at the computer, this is ridiculous. It’s even more absurd, and this also happens when a husband is unemployed, does not touch his finger to find at least some job, and does nothing about the house, but the wife earns money and is “obliged” to serve him. It shouldn't be like that.

I'm just saying how, in my opinion, it should ideally be. How I did it, another question - I do not want and cannot boast. It's just very important to understand that we are different, and I began to guess about this only at the institute. We were taught that all people are the same, men and women have only anatomical differences. In this sense, Soviet upbringing was liberal - the idea that there are no other differences are popular both in the West and in the United States. Not true, there are other equally important differences. We are equal before God, because everything is created in His image and likeness, but not only adult men and women have different psychologies, but also boys and girls. Therefore, in life we ​​have different roles, and in the family.

- In raising children, you probably also had a division of responsibilities?

- I was at the service - first as an altar boy, then as a priest, and my wife spent all the time with the children, and she was never bored with them. Now it is fashionable to talk about self-realization, so she saw her self-realization in raising children, and I am happy that our ideas about female self-realization coincided with her.

All the years of my altar work, our common spiritual father, Archpriest Georgy Breev, paid for our dacha at the 43rd kilometer in the summer, I went to the service from there, spent my vacation there, then I could devote more time to them. And when we lived at home in Moscow, I took the children to church for the liturgy 2-3 times a week.

- Did you play football with them at the dacha, badminton, go fishing, pick mushrooms?

- Almost not. Since I myself am not an athlete (except that in my youth I was engaged in classical wrestling), not a fisherman or a mushroom picker, I could neither join my sons to fishing, nor keep them company in games. But it happened, of course, to run around with them, tinker with them.

- And did you have any ideas, what must be taught them as future men? Many believe that whoever a boy later becomes, no matter how brilliant he has in mathematics, languages ​​or music, as a man, he must be able to do something with his hands, as well as stand up for himself in order to protect the weak if necessary ...

- All this, of course, is good, but I could not teach them any craft, because I myself am not handy. The crane could have changed, but nothing more. And the ability to stand up for yourself, if you have character, will come by itself.

Like all parents, we probably made some mistakes, but I think that on the whole we raised our sons well, since they grew up real men: they can stand up for themselves, and feel responsible for their families. The elder chose monasticism, he is already a bishop, rector of the Kolomna Seminary, this is also a huge responsibility.

Bishop of Zaraisk, Vicar of the Moscow Diocese Konstantin (Ostrovsky), Archpriest Georgy Breev, Archpriest Konstantin Ostrovsky

Keeping in the Church: education, will, Providence

- You have said more than once that by nature you are an oppressor and especially in the neophyte period you sometimes went too far, even decided that children did not need fairy tales.

- There were neophyte excesses. Indeed, I decided that neither children nor adults need anything spiritual, only spiritual. Father George, when he found out about this, explained to me that if the child is not Sergiy of Radonezh or Seraphim of Sarov, he also needs healthy spiritual food, including fairy tales, to prepare for life.

As for the pressure on children in general, it is more difficult to talk about it now than 10-15 years ago. The atmosphere in society has changed, and these changes are affecting the church environment as well. Previously, people more easily perceived thoughts about obedience, about paternal authority, about the permissibility of severe punishments. Many people do not understand the difference between “for the child to be good” and “for the child to be good”. And this different goals and they suggest different means.

To make the child comfortable, you need to do without demands, obediences, punishments - just negotiate. And at work, the boss, if he wants his subordinates to feel comfortable, must negotiate with them. And this approach can give visible success ... But external. And the philosopher Konstantin Leontiev wrote that external pressure is useful for the spiritual life of the people. Who is it, external pressure, is it pleasant? Nobody, but it is useful for fostering will, patience, humility. And the child is all the more useful when something is required of him.

There are, although not so often, children are soft, compliant - it would seem that nothing can be demanded from them, there is no need to force them to anything. But how, then, will the child's will, the ability to humble, forgive, be formed? There is always a danger of going too far. It's like in weightlifting - if a person is overloaded, he will get injured, he may even become disabled, but if he is not loaded enough, he will remain weak. The upbringing of will, courage without exactingness, without some kind of pressure is impossible.

But in the spiritual life, pressure is of little use. It is possible and necessary to demand from the child the fulfillment of some spiritual orders, but it is impossible to demand prayer and love. Of course, if the family is a church, the child for the time being is included in Orthodox tradition: observes fasts, goes to church with his parents, confesses, receives communion, reads the morning with them and evening rules... While our children were small, they read with pleasure, and the older they got, the less they liked it. (And it can be hard for you and me to stand at the service, attention is scattered). But as long as they lived together, the rule continued.

Once my wife and I had an argument. She says: we taught them the rule, but we didn’t teach them to pray. And I say that everything is exactly the opposite: they did not teach the rule, but taught to pray. All of them remained believers. And she agreed with me. Here a very deep and important paradox manifested itself, which does not only apply to our educational experience: external pressure always evokes protest, but at the same time it can have a life-giving effect on the soul.

“And your three sons became priests. One of the biggest problems in believing families today is that children grow up and leave the Church. How do you keep them?

- No way. I like Pasternak's line: "But to be alive, alive and only, alive and only to the end." Parents can be guilty when they do not take care of their children - they throw them at grandmothers, in circles and sections, or, as often happens in our time, they simply give them an iPad, so that, on the one hand, there is no need to worry about where the child is, with the other, he did not prevent them from going about their business. The father leaves the family - it is also his fault. And if the father and mother are trying to raise children, this is their merit. And when the parents are believers, there is some kind of church order at home, the children join it, but this also does not guarantee anything.

Children's religiosity passes away, and a person must make a choice himself, but it can be difficult to make it. As far as I understand, it is impossible to help this, you can only not interfere with your pressure, not injure the person. But even with the most reasonable behavior of parents, there are no guarantees. When the calling grace touches the human heart, only the Lord knows. Great value have the will of man and the providence of God.

How I raise my children also matters, but more for the salvation of my soul. Parenting is the soil, the seed is the will of the person himself, and the sun and rain are from God. Everyone should try, but everything is in the hands of God.

- And the fact that your three sons followed in your footsteps, you also do not see your merit?

- I am very glad, as, I think, any father rejoices if he does what he loves, and then his sons also choose this business. As soon as I began to church, I immediately fell in love with the priesthood, I wanted to serve myself, and it didn’t matter. cathedral or in a village temple. My dream did not come true right away, but when the children were still growing up, it is not surprising that they liked their father's ministry. But my mother and I had no intention of raising them as priests. After all, the priesthood is a personal vocation, so the Lord called three; if he calls on a fourth, and he will serve.

Until recently, two served with me, and even now they are rectors in our deanery. Well, the elder, after long deliberations - he consulted both with me and with Fr. Georgy Breev, went to the Lavra to see Fr Kirill (Pavlov), talked with him, - chose monasticism. I am pleased that my three sons are serving, but I understand that it was the Lord who called them.

Live a common life

- One can guess that you lived very modestly, and in the nineties, when all of them were still children and adolescents, a strong stratification began in the country, the rich appeared. Have they never murmured that someone of the same age has something that they do not have?

- I don’t remember that they were once upset about this. It seems to me that a lot here depends on the attitude of the parents themselves to their financial situation... We really lived modestly (and when I was an alarnik, just for alms - both the priests helped, and the parishioners), but we never considered ourselves deprived.

In their self-esteem, boys are guided by their mother, girls - by their father (I read about this in Freud, but, in my opinion, this is the general opinion in psychology). If a mother is upset with the way her son looks, he begins to have complexes, and if his mother likes the boy, he feels confident. It was important for both of us that the children were dressed for the season, and fashionable or unfashionable, better or worse than the neighbour's children, classmates, we never even thought about it. Accordingly, they did not care either.

- You were ordained in Khabarovsk, you and your family moved there, but then your sons started having health problems because of the climate, and your wife returned to Moscow with them, and you stayed in Khabarovsk for another year. Such a long separation is always a test for the family.

“I had no choice. If I had returned to Moscow then, I would have been banned. Perhaps forever. I do not know what to do to a man whose wife is in a scandal in such a situation, demands that he immediately return home, otherwise she will get divorced. God had mercy on me - my wife supported me, she understood that I could not quit the service. I sent them money, my mother helped as much as she could.

And it is also very important - we wrote letters to each other every day. There was no Skype at that time, long-distance calls were expensive, so they rarely called each other, and letters were written and, accordingly, received every day. And this helped us to maintain constant spiritual communication.

- As a priest, you are probably often told about family difficulties, troubles? What do you see as the main problem modern family, paternity?

- I will not say that any specific problems of paternity are highlighted. Concerning common problems, then I see almost everyone striving for comfort, and even many do not have a sense of the family as a whole church people... Not that they do not love each other - the majority of Christian families, thank God, do not disintegrate, but the feeling of the family as a small church, which, like the Church itself, as a parish, is arranged in the image of the Kingdom of Heaven, today very rare. Christian family not just called that small church- there is also its own way of life, its own hierarchy, obedience, common prayer, common meal. Now they live under one roof, but each with his own life, many even pray separately. A common life very important.

Closely and often communicating with students, I have to constantly answer questions related to the intimate life of a man and a woman; talk about how Orthodox Church looks at sexual relations - what permits, what forbids, and what leaves it to the personal pious choice of the spouses themselves.

For the reason that there are many unreasonable prohibitions and just superstitions on this issue, I decided to write an article that in short form will illuminate the relationship of the holy Church to the intimate life of people.

In the canons of the Church sex life spouses are not regulated in any way. And in general it will be difficult to imagine how on some Ecumenical Council respected elderly theologians are sitting and discussing whether it is possible to have oral sex or not. Moreover, most of theologians are usually monks, that is, experience family relations did not have.

But despite the fact that the rules of the Church do not, as such, regulate sexual relations, certain frameworks and norms established since ancient times exist. I will try to describe these norms in simple words (to avoid ambiguity).

Strictly prohibited:

1. The Church prohibits all sexual relations outside of marriage. This postulate is indisputable; and as long as the man and woman have not tied the knot, their sexual relationship (if any) is considered fornication.

2. Anal sex is strictly forbidden by the Church (earlier this sin was called womanism). Such sexual intercourse is recognized by the Church as unnatural.

3. The Church, naturally, has a negative attitude to joint dissolute incitement of spouses - watching pornography, participating in orgies, etc.

4. Church is strict prohibits evasion of an intimate life against the will of one of the spouses. In simple words: if the wife wants sex, the husband has no right to refuse her. If he refuses her, then the Church punishes him for this sin by excommunication from Holy Communion until he is completely corrected (by the way, a priest is defrocked for such a sin). This also applies to fast days. It is a grave sin to evade an intimate life against the will of one of the spouses, even during fasting.

There are certain days when Orthodox Christians cannot join intimacy... But I will say right away that marital fasting is possible only by mutual consent. The Apostle Paul directly writes about this in his epistle.

Allowed

Everything else: mutual pleasures and various caresses, the duration of the process itself, etc. depend on the piety of the spouses. From their personal choices, opinions and decisions. Any prohibitions are possible only by mutual agreement; and if one of the spouses is not ready to endure any prohibitions or restrictions, then his half is obliged to meet him halfway.

Quotes

So that it doesn't seem to anyone that I am saying "gag," I will write here what any Orthodox family man should base his opinion on.

Apostle Paul:

“Husband show his wife due favor; like a wife also to a husband. The wife has no power over her body, but the husband; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife. Do not deviate from each other, unless by agreement, for a while, for exercise in fasting and prayer, and then again be together, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance. " (Epistle to the Corinthians).

Rule 4 of St. Dionysius of Alexandria:

“Those who marry themselves must be reigning judges. For they heard Paul writing, as if it is proper to abstain from each other, by agreement, until the time, in order to exercise in prayer, and then the pack of being. "

Saint John Chrysostom:

“A wife should not, he says, abstain against the will of her husband, and a husband should not abstain against the will of his wife. Why? Because from this abstinence comes a great evil; from this there were frequent fornication, fornication and domestic disorder. "

Output

The Church has never laid down laws prohibiting the marriage bed of spouses; the most that we find in Scripture and the rules is advice and calls to godliness.

But if someone tells you that on such and such a day the Church prohibits marital intimacy, then you can safely inform the person of his mistake. The Church does not prohibit, the Church only advises to have abstinence sometimes by mutual consent. God bless everyone!

Archpriest Konstantin Ostrovsky, rector of the Assumption Church in Krasnogorsk, Moscow Region, told Pravmir about his life, coming to God, family and priestly ministry.

Archpriest Konstantin Ostrovsky was born in 1951 in Moscow. Graduated from the Moscow Institute of Electronic Engineering in 1974. He worked as a programmer. In 1978 he was baptized. He worked as an altar boy in the Church of the Nativity of John the Baptist in Presnya. Ordained in 1987. He served in the Far East for two and a half years. Since 1990, rector of the Assumption Church in Krasnogorsk. Dean of the Churches of the Krasnogorsk District. Chairman of the Diocesan Department for Restoration and Construction. He is married and has four sons. One of them is a bishop, two are priests, serving in the Krasnogorsk deanery.

- Father Konstantin, did you grow up in an unbelieving family?

Yes, in an ordinary Soviet family, moreover incomplete - my father left when I was 10 years old, my mother and grandmother raised me. All my information about God was limited to the works of Mayakovsky, where there are terrible priests. Then we were all baptized and became churches, and my mother was baptized before me, but she became churched later, and my grandmother was baptized later. Then we, like most Soviet people, did not know anything about God and never talked about this topic at home.

The teachers respected us

My mother and grandmother were simple people - my grandmother worked as a medical statistician, my mother was either an engineer somewhere, or at a vocational school, but they were engaged in my upbringing and education. Therefore, in the 9th grade, I ended up in the already famous Second Mathematical School.

Mom read about her in Izvestia and persuaded me to try to enter there. With a creak, I entered it, with a creak I finished it (in 1967) and never regretted it - it was really a wonderful school, I have the warmest memories of it.

From acquaintances who studied at the Second School in the same sixties, I heard that it was distinguished by free-thinking, was not Soviet in spirit. Did you think so too?

As you understand, it could not have been clearly anti-Soviet - it would have been closed at once. (However, in 1971 it was nevertheless dispersed: the director and almost all of the leading teachers were fired.) Moreover, for a long time the second school held on due to the fact that its founder and director, Vladimir Fedorovich Ovchinnikov, was a member of the city committee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, most of the teachers were also party members, but many were anti-Soviet, and although they did not openly criticize the Soviet regime, their mood was passed on to their students.

As a boy from a simple family, I just did not understand this, but I intuitively felt that the atmosphere at the school was special, noble. I remember that in chemistry class I was sitting, thinking about something, and at the same time tore the linoleum on the table, the teacher, of course, did not like it, she sent me to the director. I was expecting a breakdown, and he just told me to fix the table. It shocked me.

Another amazing story ... The class teacher, Natalya Vasilievna, called my mother to school, because I was outrageously skipping a lot, and I had the nerve to ask her not to tell my mother that I was skipping. And she didn't say. If you look at the matter formally, she did the wrong thing - after all, it was because of my systematic absenteeism that she called my mother! But her "wrong" act became for me a lesson in nobility for the rest of my life!

The attitude of teachers to students is perhaps the main thing that distinguished the second school of mathematics. The teachers respected us even when our actions did not deserve respect. Naturally, they did not call black white and did not say that we were doing the right thing, but they saw a personality in every child, they believed that everything could be explained to him in a human way, without screaming and threats. And this attitude, together with the brilliant teaching, bore fruit. They studied well, many entered the Faculty of Mechanics and Mathematics of Moscow State University, MEPhI and Phystech, well, and such middle peasants like me easily entered good technical universities.

- Did you even try to go to university?

I tried it, but first I entered the medical school. I finished school at the age of 16, because after the first grade, my parents transferred me immediately to the third. Well, at the age of 16, few people are ready to make an informed choice. I thought about physical education, since I was engaged in classical wrestling (that is how they called Greco-Roman at that time) and once even became the champion of Moscow among young men, but decided that physical education was undignified, and entered the medical one. In the first six months we went through anatomy, histology, embryology, but for some reason I perceived all this as an introduction and waited until we begin to study science!

I passed my first semester exams and got bored with math and my friends. I dropped out of medicine - this decision seemed unreasonable to many, but initially it was not worth it for me to go there for such reasons: without a vocation, just instead of physical education. In principle, I believe that it is normal for a young person to look for himself and leave one institute to enter another. I began to prepare diligently and prepared well, but the requirements at the mechanics and mathematics department were nevertheless increased - theoretically I could have entered, but did not enter. And he entered MIEM and graduated from it.

- What, apart from studying, did you live during your student years?

Friendship. We had a good company. They mischievous, of course, but not hooligans. They had fun drinking, playing cards, while talking a lot on serious topics. On the way to the fourth, we are tired of drunkenness. Not that they completely stopped, but drunkenness ceased to be the core of our communication, between the fun we tried to study well.

Between occultism and baptism

Our company also included friends-girlfriends of my cousin... She is a journalist, then worked at Moskovsky Komsomolets ( last years before retirement she was the editor-in-chief of the Udmurt radio). We were all friends together and after the institute continued to communicate, and many of us were in spiritual search. Some, however, quickly chose the occult over everything.

At first I was carried away by moralism and Schweitzer, but I got bored, and also moved into Eastern mysticism, I liked it, but, fortunately, not for long, and I did not go deep into it. Later, I realized how God protected me and did not even lead me, but carried me in his arms through great dangers.

Once we were in St. Petersburg with friends, lying next to on the floor with one occultist, whom I respected very much and even considered for Sufi sheikh... And then for some reason my friends were baptized, and I consulted with him, whether I should not be baptized too. He began to dissuade me, I agreed with everything and ... firmly decided to be baptized. And he was really baptized.

After a while, I talked with another occultist, who I also really liked, but did not take me as a student, he said that I would be a priest. Swimming in the sea, I lost the cross, and he suggested to me: "Come on, I'll cut out the cross for you." But I firmly refused, said that I would buy it in the church. I bought it, soon after that my wife was baptized, my son was baptized (then he was the only one with us), and soon I went to work in the Church.

He wanted to be a watchman, but they did not take it anywhere, but took it as an altarpiece in the Church of the Nativity of John the Baptist in Presnya. He was an altar boy in tandem with Valery Mishin, who still serves in that church, but already as a priest. This was my churching.

After that, relations with friends somehow came to naught. One of his friends - Sergei Zhigalkin - became a rather famous Nietzsche, he even translated something from Nietzsche himself. Two more - Nikolai Mikhailovich and Galina Vasilievna Novikovs - found me many years later, when they themselves became churches, and even helped me to write my first books.

They are professionals: Nikolai Mikhailovich is a printing artist, in different time was the main artist in "Ogonyok" and "Literaturka", Galina Vasilievna worked as a journalist for many years. So I published the first books with their direct participation. Then Nikolai Mikhailovich, with the help of Galina Vasilievna, began to publish his books - the famous series "Jesus' Prayer: The Experience of Two Millennia."

No catechesis

- That is, you were not baptized fully consciously and did not begin to church immediately after baptism?

I heard from friends-occultists that Christ scattered the astral plane in the atmosphere and helps those who seek spiritual life. Therefore, I wanted to be baptized. He was not completely baptized without being baptized, because Valery Mishin was in our company, at that time already Orthodox Christian and the altar boy. We got to know him, talked, he answered some of my questions, gave primary instructions and led me to be baptized. After baptism, I even received Holy Communion. But, of course, then I still did not understand much, and I began to church, already being an altar boy.

Even now, I am skeptical about the firm orientation towards greater catechesis. Many of my peers, like me, first came to the Church without any catechesis, and only then they became churched. If I was required to go to ten lectures beforehand, and the lectures would be read boringly, which is quite likely, I could simply leave, deciding that everything is boring in the Church.

Therefore, it is good that in my case there was no catechesis. That is, there was catechesis, but already in the process church life... He acted as an altar, communicated with people, received communion, became my confessor, and gradually everything fell into place.

Despite the fact that a person with higher education then, in the late seventies, there was no chance for the priesthood, did you decide to go to work in the Church?

I treated work in my specialty only as a necessity. The first three years I worked on assignment - there is no getting around here. Then there was a search for live work, I wanted to work with people, and I went to vocational school. I worked there for two months - with my free style of communication I did not fit into the teaching environment at all and had no desire to adapt. I left without any conflict, I just felt that I was a stranger there, and then one of my classmates offered a job, which, moreover, did not have to go.

It suited me - I was minding my own business, and suddenly a year later they said that now I had to go to work. It was a shock for me, and I decided that I would go to church - I heard that I could get a job as a watchman. They didn’t take me, and then I tried to go to the choir, and not just anywhere, but to the Yelokhovsky Cathedral. I still can’t sing, but now at least I know that I can’t, but then I didn’t know and once sang there in the left choir.

I liked everything very much, at the service the singers were treated to sweets and sandwiches, but the choir director said: "You don't know how to sing at all." They didn’t take the Yelokhovsky cathedral, but it was on Presnya that the altar boy entered the seminary, the place was vacated, and Valera Mishin offered me. Have taken. As I remember now, I came on Sunday, on the eve of the Dormition, and I see Father George consuming the Holy Gifts.

But now I understand that he was consuming the Gifts, but then I thought: “What beautiful dishes the priests use for breakfast!”. Can you imagine what was the level of my churchliness? But the very next day I confidently stood with a candle near the Shroud and even made a remark to someone. I got to my place, for the first time I began to take my work seriously.

We don't have to be friends

- Did you manage to feed your family?

Somehow I didn’t think much about it because of the frivolity of the time. In the last engineering position, after all the deductions, he received 135 rubles. Enough for a modest life. And in the church they promised me 73 rubles. We had two hundred rubles in reserve, and I decided that we would add, and for the first time it would be enough for us. Naively, of course.

But in reality, everything turned out to be completely different from what was thought. From the very beginning, the parishioners began to give something, then the priests. Father George treated us like a father in all respects, he rented a dacha for us every year so that the children could be outdoors in the summer.

Of course, if my wife did not support me, we would not be able to live like this. At one time she tried to save money for a rainy day, but realized that this was impossible. Sometimes I ran out of money, once I even sold my prayer book. True, this happened on the eve of the name day, for which the people of God generously helped us, and I bought a new prayer book. We didn't really need it. People gave clothes, food, money helped - we did not refuse. In the Church, in this sense, it was more human than in the world.

People who took church at about the same time as you in the same church in Presnya told that then there was not and could not be a church community.

In general, I am opposed to the modern theory of communality. What kind of community should it be? Then there was Father George, my spiritual father and of many parishioners - my peers, older, younger. We were friends with Borey Nichiporov (future father Boris, now deceased), with, then still a young candidate of sciences, we were also on good friendly relations. I was very fond of going everywhere with Fr. Georgy, he often took me with him to services, and at the same time I got to know the parishioners better. There was a circle of people communicating with each other.

And the parish community in the form that everyone is talking about today is possible either in a village where there are few parishioners, where at Easter a maximum of 50 people come, or abroad, where there are also few Orthodox. Even in the center of Moscow - there are many churches, but few residents. But what kind of community in an ordinary urban situation can we talk about? My parish is not the largest, but even if you do not take those who go once a month or less, there are hundreds of permanent parishioners! We can’t all be friends with each other, and we don’t need it.

To single out some group of people, personal friends, who revere me, for whom I am a priest in a specific sense? This youthfulness is called, all of us, due to our weakness, are partly saturated with it, but with it, like with any passion, we must fight, and not develop. I like the word “parish” more - people come to church, where they are united by the Chalice of the Lord, from which we all partake. At the same time, people can be completely different in convictions, and in education, and in social status.

Among the parishioners there are big bosses, scientists, workers, and cleaning ladies. How can we unite into one community? The Chalice unites us, and it has always been so. But why is everyone obliged to be friends?

The task of the confessor is to teach people to relate to each other in a Christian way. Recently, a young priest told me that in the Moscow parish where he grew up, if one of the parishioners gets sick, he calls the abbot, and he notifies everyone and asks if possible to help the sick person. This is not bad, but it would be better if, without any call to the priest, there was a colleague nearby, ready to help. In our parish, by the way, this usually happens - people know each other and, if necessary, help each other.

When fraternal mutual assistance is not enough, they turn to me, I decide the issue. Sometimes you need to raise money, sometimes you need to hire an assistant. For example, there is a family of parishioners whose daughter is disabled. Until recently, the parents were on their feet, but now all three, no one walks. Of course this family needs great help, and not only financial. When I found out, I blessed the parishioners to organize themselves and help. They visit them in turn, take care of them, bring everything they need. Naturally, if there is not enough help, we will buy something with parish money, but it is better when people help themselves. Better for themselves.

Parishioners communicate with each other, they are friends, so even if they are friends, but of their own free will, according to their interests. It is clear that outside the temple, scientists have the same interests, ordinary people other. Even before the priesthood, I really wanted to have a community. I myself am a great lover of friendship, I still consider many classmates and members of the MIEM as my friends, although we rarely see each other.

Why communities fall apart

When I became abbot in Krasnogorsk, many young people gathered in the church, I came to a certain delight ... Now I recall with shame that my delight. By the grace of God, the parish did not collapse, and one priest, very respected by me, once everything collapsed, everyone abandoned him. Then new people came, now he has a different community.

It did not come to this with us, everything somehow sour by itself, and then straightened out. Someone took offense at me, but nothing terrible happened. The community has survived, just changed. I did not hide this - I said and say that the foundation of a community is in service, and not in relationships. I have been appointed to serve, someone carries out his ministry with me (I mean by no means only the clergy) - that is what the parish community is.

The ministry may not be as bright ... For example, what is special about a driver or a plumber? But both can feel like members of the community. And what kind of relationship will develop is not the main thing. The main task of the parish is to provide services.

This does not mean that I am against some kind of parish work. But parish social activity should not be the fruit of our inventions, but the fruit of our liturgical unity and pastoral care of the parishioners. Then, if people have a desire and ideas, let them work, my job is not to interfere, help, support.

Children's music teachers came to the church - a Children's Church Music School was created. A young priest appeared, getting along well with young people - this activity began to boil. But the charitable work in the hospital developed (we had two nurses), and then fell apart - one went to the monastery, the other graduated from the institute. What can you do?

- Why did your friend's community collapse?

Because the basis was not spiritual, but spiritual. But we will not discuss other people's affairs, especially since my information is rumored - I was not a member of that community.

Our community fell apart a few years ago, because it was initially involved in friendship, and not in the service. And friendship is a precarious foundation in spiritual life. I have passions, and so do my parishioners. One of the community leaders broke loose and began to inject drugs, as in his youth. Then another one started drinking, turned out to be an alcoholic. A formidable stream has entered our idyll, from which there is no escape in life. Fortunately, these are isolated cases. The community has changed without scandals, life itself has led us to change.

What spirituality is in Koschey the Immortal?

In addition, many young men and women were married to each other. And at family man household chores are increasing, and that's okay. It is not normal for a family member to flee to the parish. For a family Christian, the family is the place of his ministry, even if it is not easy there, the husband or wife does not go to church, does not believe in God. All the more it is necessary to work, to establish relations, and not to run away from the "infidels" to "ours."

- In your family, as I understand it, there were no disagreements over faith?

Not everything went smoothly. The first time my wife turned to Father George with a complaint against me - this was how their communication began. And there was something to complain about me. I’m a gambler by nature. And my mother got it from me at one time, and my sons - this is already becoming adults, they humorously remember my upbringing, in which there were enough mistakes and excesses.

Mom, as I told you, was baptized before me. I already believed in God, but philosophically, and when I saw a prayer book in my mother’s closet, I decided to fight against "obscurantism." This is the first episode. Then he was baptized himself, quickly began to become churchgoers and "realized" that one can only talk about spiritual topics, and all other topics should be excluded from conversations.

Many years have passed since then, I don't remember the details. Mom had the tact not to quarrel with me, but after my pressure she stopped going to church and did not go for quite a long time. Then, nevertheless, she returned to the Church, she also became the spiritual daughter of Father George and remains her, they just rarely see each other.

Well, since you can only talk about spiritual things, then fairy tales, I decided, do not need to be read to children. What spirituality is in Koschey the Immortal and Baba Yaga? When Father George found out, he explained to me why I was wrong. If, he said, a child is like a blessed, chosen child, the Lord Himself leads him, and there is no need to interfere and adjust him to a common standard. But an ordinary child needs healthy spiritual food, the same Pushkin's tales. Needed as a preparation for life, otherwise this life will trample him in school.

You Can't Leave the Priesthood

The only benefit from that mistake of mine is that I wrote the Lives of the Saints for the children. My eldest son Ilya, now Bishop Constantine, learned to read early, and for him I abbreviated and rewrote selected Lives according to St. Demetrius of Rostov by hand for him - it seemed to me that it was not spiritual to type on a typewriter! Until now, this handwritten book is kept by me as a rarity! It was already easier with the other sons.

Three of your four sons have become priests. Before the revolution it could not have been otherwise, but now even in the families of hereditary priests, not all sons follow in the footsteps of their fathers. Have you been attuning children to the priesthood since childhood?

There is no need to set such a goal - to raise a child. The priesthood is a personal calling. Three of the four God called, they serve. If he calls the fourth, he will go to serve. Of course, as any father, I am pleased that the children follow my path. Not just in the church way - it was a matter of course. If I were an architect, I would probably be happy if children also became architects.

From the very beginning, as soon as I came to the Church, I fell in love with the priesthood, I really wanted to serve myself, no matter where - in the cathedral or in a remote village - just to serve. My dream did not come true right away, but when the children were still growing up, it is not surprising that they liked their father's service, but I never had a specific orientation for their future. Mother and I supported any of their good undertakings.

At one time they thought to send the senior to the mathematics school at MISS - he was good at mathematics, and we lived nearby. Pasha, the current father Pavel, was going to become the regent, we also supported his desire to enter the regency faculty. There is nothing worse than becoming a priest without a calling. I entered the medical institute without a vocation, but quickly changed my mind and quit, but you can't quit the priesthood like that. Therefore, parents should not push their children to become priests, set them up for this.

- And at a transitional age, your sons did not have a chill to the Church?

As far as I can see, they did not have a chill to the Church, but there was a kind of awesomeness. writes that in adolescence hypogastric couples hit in the head. And for all young people, except for those who, even before the transitional age, defined themselves as Christians - they themselves decided, and not on parental guidance - these couples sweep everything away.

Using the example of not only my family (four people is not such a large sample to draw conclusions), but also my Sunday school, I see that this is so. The overwhelming majority of children in this very transitional age skid, many commit some unworthy deeds.

More or less smoothly - not entirely without temptations and falls, but without great ones - it goes for a few. I can barely name ten of our Sunday school, but I won't, so as not to embarrass anyone. The rest did penalty loops. Like in biathlon - if you shoot off target, you make a penalty loop. I'm not afraid anymore, I just know that this, with rare exceptions, is inevitable.

Specifically, my sons rebelled not against the Church, but against my father's pressure. The relationship was preserved, because at some point I realized that they had grown and it was ineffective to put pressure on them, and stopped the pressure.

- Your eldest son became a monk. When did he realize that this was his way?

He was always serious, and younger brothers he was respected for this, but he was not a non-worldly child. And he could joke, and played with his peers. He realized himself as a Christian in early childhood, so he was relatively easy to survive the temptations of adolescence. But he did not have such an aspiration to the monastery, as some natural-born monks did.

In the end, he did not live in the monastery for a day: he studied at the Moscow Theological Academy, then became the vice-rector of the Kolomna Seminary and lived there for ten years, now he has become the rector. He pondered for a long time, consulted both with me and with Father Georgy Breev, and made the final choice, in my opinion, after a conversation with Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov), then the confessor of the Lavra.

Books without beginning or end

- How did you manage to be ordained back in Soviet times?

As soon as I came to the Church, I wanted to become a priest, but for the first three years Fr. George did not bless, believing that I was not ready. Then he did not mind, but we began to find out and realized that Moscow would not let my candidacy pass - then the Council for Religious Affairs was in charge of these things. I would have resigned myself and not rock the boat, but meekness and humility were not enough, and I began to ask to different dioceses.

They refused everywhere, but one of Fr. George's good acquaintances, priest Valery Vasiliev (now Archbishop Innokenty of Vilna and Lithuania), then served in Khabarovsk, was a dean of the Khabarovsk district. Khabarovsk in those years was part of the Irkutsk diocese, and Father Valery, at the request of Father George, spoke with Archbishop Chrysostom of Irkutsk and Chita. Soon, Vladyka Chrysostom summoned me, we talked with him, and he said that he would ordain me.

At that time, Vladyka Chrysostom was the only bishop who first ordained and then sent documents to the commissioner. Of course, they could have refused to register me anyway, but the representative waved his hand and I stayed in Khabarovsk. The family came to me, we planned to settle down and settle down there, but the children began to get sick, then mother, and after a year and a half, Father George blessed them to return to Moscow. And I served in the Far East for another year.

- Did church life in Khabarovsk differ from Moscow at the end of the Soviet regime?

It was distinguished, as far as I could see, by the great savagery of the people. There was no church literature at all. I still remember how Vladyka Chrysostom flew to Khabarovsk, and when we dined after the Liturgy, he asked the newly ordained deacon: "Have you read any spiritual books?" - "Was reading". - "What kind?". - "I do not know". - "Why?" - Vladyka was surprised. “They were without beginning or end,” the deacon explained. In the Far East in the thirties, spiritual books were burned at the stake. Also, the Bolsheviks closed all the churches, the first temple in Khabarovsk was opened during the war.

All this could not but affect the church life. Even the clergy were mostly outsiders. For example, three Muscovites, three Ukrainians and only one local served in our cathedral, including a sexton. But if mother and children had not started having health problems (but they did, because the climate there is specific), perhaps I would still serve in Khabarovsk.

Infantile collectives and common life

- When you returned, were you immediately appointed rector of the Dormition Church in Krasnogorsk?

No, I was out of the state for several months. Submitted documents and waited for the decision of the hierarchy. He arrived in Moscow at the end of 1989, and was assigned to Krasnogorsk in the spring of 1990. Since then I have been serving here. Everything, except the walls, had to be demolished and redone. Including the roof. But on the third floor, a room was preserved where we began to serve, and then opened Sunday school... So it’s a sin to grumble - I had to start from scratch.

I served for two years, then in 1992, at my suggestion, Fr. Sergiy Reznikov was ordained, with whom we were churches in Presnya and have been friends ever since, in 1993 - Fr. Vladimir Shaforostov, and then the priests appeared.

- Including two sons serve under your command. Probably not easy to have sons subordinate?

Since they are decent priests, there is no difficulty. We keep kinship, on this moment very good, but as clerics to the rector and dean, they must show and show obedience. I see no problem. Now, if they, being subordinate, and even in the Church, behaved badly, there would be difficulties. You would either have to expel them by your own will, or endure, embarrassing the people - the father covers his son. Thank God, neither Father Paul nor Father John tempts me like that, I am not ashamed of them.

- For many years, a children's camp has been organized at your arrival.

Now we call it just a family vacation, because the state makes great demands on the organization of the camps, and not always reasonable ones. If you fulfill all these requirements, you will get a comfortable pioneer camp, and as a child I went to pioneer camps several times and since then I have been critical of this form of children's recreation.

Official events took place, sometimes interesting, sometimes boring, and the rest of the time the counselors lived their own lives, the children were left to themselves. And when they are left to themselves, it turns out about the same as in Lord of the Flies - remember this book? The same thing happens in adults. infantile collectives- army, prison. But the army is gathering people for war - a sad necessity. And it is ridiculous to specially collect children so that they become corrupted.

The alternative to this, of course, is not total control with eavesdropping and peeping, but life in tents, in nature, where you yourself have to make a fire, cook food, wash the dishes. Firstly, children learn to work, to responsibility, and secondly, they live in a single team with adults. That is, they are quite free, play with each other, no one controls them, but everyone has a common life there.

We went to the Voronezh region, to Kostroma, for five years in a row - to Severomorsk. In Severomorsk, they lived not in tents, but on warships, but the meaning remained - a single life for adults with children.

The organization of the camp as a family holiday does not require unnecessary formalities. Several parishioners gather with children, other parishioners who cannot go, but want to send their children, write a power of attorney for someone who is traveling, that they trust their children - everything is legal and without bureaucracy. They do not write a power of attorney for a priest, he just goes as if to rest! True, I have not been traveling in recent years - my mother is ill, I cannot leave her. But some of the priests will definitely go.

Usually they leave for two weeks. On holidays and Sundays, divine services in the church, daily morning and evening common prayer, before meals, too, and at the same time children in nature, play a lot, but they also work - everyone has obedience, at night they are on duty by the fire in turn.

Several years ago I read an article by a secular teacher (I do not remember his last name) about home education in a pre-revolutionary peasant family. Children there very early became adults, that is, capable of independent life. Already at the age of fifteen, a teenager could, in case of need, be the owner of the house, and a girl even earlier - at 12 years old - could be a mistress. Moreover, the economy of that time was very complex, it required many skills and knowledge.

Of course, there were sins even then, but look - nowhere in Russian literature of that time do we even find a mention of the peasants' transitional age. The adolescents first matured mentally, and then matured physically. But now it is usually the other way around.

In those families, everyone - old people, adults, children - lived one life, everyone did what he could. And it could not have been otherwise - life was difficult, uncomfortable, as they say now. You can graze geese - take a twig and graze, grow up - help with your strength, become big - take on real hard work.

It is very important that the children saw: parents are stronger than them, they are better versed in everything. Therefore, respect for parents, in general for elders, arose by itself. And they worked, and rested, and ate, and prayed - they lived together. And now they only consume together, but children know how to consume as well as adults.

I'm glad that there is only one life

- Who of the people influenced you, whom would you call your teacher?

A lot of people have influenced and influence me, like everyone else. The closest ones: mother and late grandmother, wife and sons. I love my old friends. Spiritual children, parishioners, clergy brothers. To enumerate this way - it will turn out to be many dozens, I am a sociable person.

In church terms, I was raised by Father Georgy Breev. He is my spiritual father, and somewhere he replaced my own father.

My benefactors are Metropolitan Chrysostom and Archbishop Innokenty of Vilna and Lithuania. Knowing me only from the words of Father George, Vladyka Innokenty (then Father Valery) took upon himself the responsibility of recommending me, and Vladyka Chrysostom ordained me.

Metropolitan Yuvenaly, our ruling bishop, has become a model for me to serve the Church. In the nineties, congratulating him, it seems, on his sixtieth birthday, the current, then still metropolitan, said that the main quality of Vladyka Juvenaly was reliability.

It took me a while to understand how praiseworthy this is. And now I understand: yes, our Vladyka is a real church general in the best sense of the word. A prudent, sober, experienced and, most importantly, a general who sincerely wants his army to win. And our army is the Church of God, the victory is the victory of Christ in our hearts.

Many people at different times said some important words to me, helped me in some way, taught me something. But everything in the world happens according to the will of God, including the meeting of people with each other. Our main helper is the Lord God, He loves everyone and leads to salvation. Looking back, I see a lot of cases in my life when I could have made a big mistake, stumbled, even fell. But the Lord kept it. Bye. I am very glad that there is only one life, and it is already coming to an end.

Interviewed by Leonid Vinogradov, photo by Yulia Makoveichuk

Today I would like to propose a rather painful topic for discussion to Father Pavel Ostrovsky, the rector of the Nikolsky Church in the Pavshniskaya floodplain of Krasnogorsk, the permanent host of this program, to whom I only ask questions. My question can be formulated as follows: "They left us, but they were not ours" - whether to believe public "confessions" former priests, novices, regent? What should a person who has been pushed into church organization? What filters should be turned on in your soul so that later you do not become a temptation for many and many, and what should we do if such filters did not work and the person threw all his grievances against the Church into the public space, thereby defaming her as an organization, and how The Body of Christ: "Since such things are possible there, then what, where is the truth here?" Father, I marked the pain points ...

- In general, everything has already been described - again in the New Testament: how we should act, and how we should relate to each other, and everything has already been written about our internal church problems: people gossip among themselves, quarrels, there is no love. Unfortunately, there is such a thing. And that people turn to outside people... The Apostle Paul says that this is generally a shame - taking out litter from public. But I think that today, unfortunately, we have had quite a a big problem- a substitution of spiritual life and spiritual life: when people work in a parish, be it a regent or even if a novice, it happens even with a priest the same thing - often a person treats this way: if my soul is good, then it means that it is pleasing to God , and if my soul is bad, then it means that something is wrong. And that's all. And that's how he looks at it.

However, we understand that demons can also give very vivid emotions, which, by the way, will be disgusting to God. Yes, and there are times when a person has a hard inside, but at the same time it is pleasing to God. As in the case of the Apostle Paul, who was tormented by the spirit of Satan, and he even prayed to the Lord three times that He would take him away, but the Lord did not take him away, saying: My strength is made perfect in weakness.

It happens that a person has been in the Church for 10 years, but in reality he has not come to God. We talked before about reading, and about idle talk - these are all of the same berry field.

At some point, a person is disappointed: he suddenly realizes that there will be no easy road to the Kingdom of God. It will not be for the reason that they do not love me very much, I do not really love, and the words of Christ “he who does not deny himself, does not take up his cross, does not follow Me, is not worthy of Me” are really real. And the words of the apostle that you must suffer in order to get into the Kingdom of Heaven are also real. Yes, a person has a choice: either he understands: “Yes, I was wrong, I charmed myself,” or the second, easier option is to blame everything and everyone around.

A person has resentment - there is resentment against himself, and sometimes against others - and then the person pours it out. When a resentment against oneself - a person repents, realizes that he has deceived himself - he goes to Confession to God. And when he is offended at everyone around and everything, then this is not a confession to God - he really reveals everything that he has inside, and pours it out on the judgment of all people. And people are very fond of condemning - for them this is a very pleasant topic: rummaging in someone else's underwear, seeing everything there and what, discussing, etc. This is the first moment.

The second point is about authenticity. Let's do this: there is a famous book - "Confessions of a former novice", which many have read. I was not a novice, I was not a monk, but I can imagine how a “confession ex-wife". You understand that monasticism has its own conditions, marriage has its own, but both there and there - life. Just imagine the "confession" of an ex-wife: with what words will she find fault with her husband, her husband's relatives, in general, all the values ​​in marriage - love, raising children. If she is really offended, she was unlucky with her husband or something else, then it is clear that all this will sound like marriage, in general, the family is some kind of terrible evil. And anyone who starts to object to all those who also agree with these thoughts will be told: "you are just a henpecked" or "you are just a masochist", "you have no freedom, you have no respect for yourself", "you you don’t want to realize yourself ”.

Look: I have a wife, my wife has three children, and she realizes herself precisely in marriage, in childbirth. She likes it, she fiddles with children, brings up. Perhaps for some business woman my wife is nothing, a housewife, a cook and everything else. I don't care if she thinks so. And my wife, thank God, does not care: “Consider yourself extremely realized. Well, yes, you have varnished heels - well done. I came to work - and then you, like a galley slave, work for the sake of the ruble. And we have children at home - thank God! "

Obviously, when a person is offended, when he is disappointed, then it is not necessary that he will lie, but everything will be interpreted in one light - black. And then it turns out that there is no positive effect. It's just an insult.

If we talk about the book "Confessions of a Former Novice," I remember that I took care of this particular book, even went to the monastery where she was a novice, and communicated a lot with the sisters. I traveled several times, talked for many hours with the sisters, including those who are mentioned in the book. But that's right: all those sisters in the monastery who followed Christ ... As my own father, the priest, tells me: "You have to go to the monastery to die." Accordingly, all those who went to die and followed Christ, everything is wonderful and good with them. Well, and all those who eventually broke off, of course ... After all, it's not that the Church broke them off, but the person himself climbed in the wrong place - maybe there was no vocation, maybe he climbed early.

As for the reliability, I will now briefly formulate the previous thought - when a person is offended, then it is no longer possible to perceive the information as reliable. Serious verification is already required. It is no longer possible to say unequivocally that he is right.

Another point is that many came to the Church already having a rather serious baggage of grave, mortal sins behind them. And people do not realize that previous sins will have serious consequences, including in their spiritual life. If you are some kind of young man, and you have committed fornication in your youth, you had many women, but now you have become a believing Christian, you have found yourself Orthodox girl and married her, you may not even dream that everything will be simple for you. I am not saying that it will not be good, I am saying: it simply will not. Your previous sins will pull you, they will torment you, they will interfere with you.

If a person has visited sects, especially destructive ones, this will bother him later: if a person has watched many horror films, then one should not be surprised that he then has nightmares. It happens that nightmares have been dreaming for many, many years. And here it is worth saying that many, coming to the temple, cannot live a normal Christian life, including due to the fact that even before coming to the temple they did so much that the soul is already weak. And we must take this into account. And you need to understand that even though we did not receive a special punishment from Heaven for rather serious sins, we still have to bear some responsibility, and humble ourselves, and understand that it is my own fault ...

So, when a person with great sins, even if he sincerely repented of them, the consequences still remain, and the memory is preserved. And so he comes with such sins and suddenly somewhere even in the Church, and, sometimes, very early he is raised to a certain level, because being a regent is very serious ... This is a clergy already. Or being a novice is also very serious, I'm not talking about the priesthood.

And yet in what I saw the plus of the book "Confessions of a former novice." There, the author poured everything out directly, as it is. This is truly a confession. And if you treat it exactly as a confession - just so professionally, then everything is described there, how everything developed for this unfortunate woman, a novice. When she became a neophyte and became a churchgoer, a year later she wanted - someone there said about the monastery - to go to the monastery. And the parish priest, to whom she constantly confessed, strictly forbade her, simply dissuaded: "You cannot!" But she did not listen to him. This self-will, which was before Christianity, was based, among other things, on rather large sins, about which the book is also written, and manifested itself in Christian life... Your almost the first priest who knows you says to you: "You can't." No, I didn't listen to him, I went to the monastery. There ... And I personally know Abbess Nicholas - the woman is very decisive, otherwise I would not be like this beautiful monastery and such great works (this is just in time for a conversation about how to boss). And, accordingly, there is willfulness - you know, like a time bomb. Indeed, the book directly describes: if a person remembered what disappointment awaited him even on the first day of his arrival at the monastery, that “no one met me there, that it was somehow cold and chilly” - this all suggests that it is direct how everything began to drip at once, and at some point the cup overflowed ... Therefore, we always say to teenagers, children: do not sin heavily, do not look at others, this will help you very much later in life; “Will help” does not mean that they will not have problems later, everyone will have problems, we ourselves create them for each other. But it will be easier for you to decide. And if you sin a lot, exactly the same set of problems will be, and it will be difficult to solve them.

"Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." © ️Gospel of Matthew. ⠀ "To overfill your belly and burden yourself with food is damnable, as the Lord said:" Woe to you who are now satiated. " Through this, the body is rendered incapable of activity, prone to sleep and ready for injury. Therefore, avoiding immoderation in pleasure, the goal of eating must be supplied not to pleasantness, but to the need for food for life, for subservience to pleasures means nothing more than making one's womb a god. © ️St. Basil the Great. ⠀ “Refrain not from food, but from voluptuousness. We need food, not corruption; we need food, not the cause of illness, illness, both mental and physical; we need food that delivers sweetness, and not voluptuousness full of bitterness; this is useful and this is harmful; that is pleasant and that is unpleasant; it is natural, but it is unnatural. " © ️St. John Chrysostom. ⠀ There is only one vessel for spiritual food and bodily food - this is a person. If we overfill ourselves with bodily food, then where will there be a place for spiritual food? Even the numerous conversations about what can be eaten in fasting and what is not are already blasphemed. Great post, since in the shadow of these conversations the main thing remains - the very feat of abstinence. Let everyone determine for himself that measure of eating bodily food, so that a worthy place for spiritual life remains. And there is no need to ask if it is possible to eat food with vegetable oil in post. This is simply indecent. ⠀ Spiritual food is Holy Communion, Holy Bible and the Gifts of the Holy Spirit (love, wisdom, knowledge, faith, teaching, charity, etc.). ⠀ Fasting is a time of enjoying spiritual food.

Lust is the desire to rule over others. ⠀ “Another person, as long as he does not have any power, turns out to be meek and merciful, then, as soon as he gets power, he is ready to order and command, without examining anything; but if his power is taken away from him, his own decrees are unbearable for him. " © ️The Monk Ephraim the Syrian. ⠀ “The dust that has risen takes up a lot of space in the air and is not large itself; so is power. As dust blinds the eyes, so the pride of power darkens the vision of the mind. " © ️St. John Chrysostom. ⠀ “Lust for power is a great evil in man and the beginning of all evil ... We know that the wicked Herod was not afraid to kill so many thousands of innocent babies, so as not to lose the royal power. O great evil - lust for power! A person wants to own others, but he cannot own himself. Flee from this evil so as not to destroy yourself and others. You must first learn to control yourself, and then take power over others. " © ️Saint Tikhon Zadonsky. ⠀ Third day of fasting. Those who have already stumbled in their post, do not be upset ... At least they will not look at others with lean, arrogant faces. Another thing is those who, having not eaten fish and eggs for two days and having prayed a little more than usual, now with the faces of ancient ascetics consider those who have not reached the transcendental heights of their holiness. And this is only the third day of fasting ... A couple more days will pass and the Church of God will be filled with crowds of great teachers and sages who will tell us, the fallen ones, how to get out of the net of vice.

The Sacrament of Unction (Consecration of Oil) was established by Christ God, who sent his disciples to preach repentance and gave them the power to heal people from mental and physical ailments. “They went and preached repentance; they cast out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed. " © ️Gospel of Mark. ⠀ Later, the first bishop of Jerusalem, the Apostle James, writes about this in more detail: “Is any one of you sick? Let him call for the elders of the Church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will heal the sick one, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. " © ️The Epistle of James. ⠀ Correctly, this one of the seven Sacraments of the Church is called "Blessing of Oil", that is, the consecration of oil (oil). But among the people another name was fixed - "Unification". This is due to the fact that usually the Sacrament of the Blessing of Oil is performed by several priests, that is, by a council of priests. ⠀ In this Sacrament of the Church, a person who is at peace with God and other people asks God for special mercy for himself so that his soul is healed from the injuries of sin. And already as a result of the healing of the soul, so that the body would receive relief from natural diseases. ⠀ Sinful injuries are the consequences of our sins. For example, having committed many sins in our youth, we no longer want to repeat them; but the soul, damaged by them, in spite of sincere repentance, still continues to ache and be weighed down. ⠀ ⚠️ 👉🏻 Traditionally, general unction is performed during Great Lent. 👉🏻There are no definite dates for the performance of this Sacrament, so look carefully at the schedule in your temples. 👉🏻There is no special preparation for this rite; but there is also no point in going to unction if you have not confessed for a long time. 👉🏻 You need to come to the unction 20 minutes before it starts in order to have time to write down your name (the record is kept where the notes are submitted), and to take a place in the temple. 👉🏻 The gathering people in the temple line up in even rows so that the priests can pass peacefully between you. 👉🏻During the unction, you will be anointed with oil 7 times, so there is no need to leave your place to avoid confusion. 👉🏻The sacrament lasts from 1 hour to 3 hours. It all depends on the number of people gathering.

"Free is the one who does not slave sweets (sensual pleasures), but dominates the body through reasoning and chastity and with full gratitude is content with what God gives him, even if it was very moderate." © ️Reverend Anthony the Great. ⠀ “God wants everyone to share in His life. But calamities are not produced by His will, but are brought on by the dignity of those who have sinned. Therefore, God gives everyone life according to his own will; but each one gathers up wrath for himself in the day of wrath and revelation and the righteous judgment of God. " © ️St. Basil the Great. ⠀ “Perfect freedom consists in not needing anything at all, and the next after it is to need a little, and this freedom is mainly enjoyed by angels and their imitators. And to achieve this while being in a mortal body - think how much glory there is! " © ️St. John Chrysostom. ⠀ Good freedom is when I am offered to commit a sin, but I do not want to. Sin is disagreeable to me, but virtue is pleasant. This means that I am free from sin. And I freely give my soul into the hands of Heavenly Father. ⠀ Evil freedom is when I can sin and do whatever I want. And who will stop me in this? If only death, and the Judgment following it ...

“Despondency is like a deadly worm, touching not only the flesh, but also the soul itself, it is a moth that eats not only bones, but also the mind, a constant executioner, not cutting the ribs, but destroying even the strength of the soul, continuous night, hopeless darkness, storm , a hurricane, a secret heat that burns stronger than any flame, a war without a truce. Despondency is more painful than all calamities. Despondency is the pinnacle and head of misfortune. " © ️St. John Chrysostom. ⠀ King David called despondency “the demon of the midday,” since despondency most often attacks a person during the day. And if a person lets this demon into himself, then he cannot do anything with himself, being completely exposed to despondency. ⠀ Many holy fathers drew an equal sign between despondency and laziness, not sharing these concepts; because the state when you do not want to pray and work is at the same time a manifestation of both laziness and despondency. ⠀ The main causes of discouragement are idleness (aimless pastime) and pride (especially self-pity). ⠀ It is discouragement that is most often the reason for our irritated state and unwillingness to improve. "The soul, overwhelmed with grief and enveloped in a cloud of despondency, is not able to calmly listen to anything useful or say." © ️St. John Chrysostom. ⠀ Very often, despondency is confused with emotional grief and sadness about sad events. This probably stems from the fact that despondency is synonymous with the word “despondent,” which outwardly looks very much like a grieving person. But the essence of the concepts "despondency" and "sadness" are completely different. ⠀ The main weapon against discouragement is sincere morning prayer To God. "The doctor visits the sick in the morning, and finds despondency on the ascetics around noon." © ️Reverend John Climacus. ⠀ If in the morning we turn to the Doctor of our soul, the Lord God, for help, then the "midday demon" will remain ashamed.

"We will not be of any benefit from the multitude of labors and deeds during the fast if we are not able to partake of the Sacrament with a clear conscience." © ️St. John Chrysostom. ⠀ The meaning of all spiritual deeds should be striving for God. ⠀ If a person says that he strives for God, but does not want to unite with Him, then he is deceiving himself. ⠀ The more often a person unites with Christ God during Great Lent, the better; although, unfortunately, there are opinions from the clergy that it is necessary to unite with Christ less often. At the same time, St. John Chrysostom warns us that we must partake of the Sacrament "with a clear conscience." But who prevents us from cleansing our conscience with the help of the Sacrament of Repentance and reconciliation with our neighbors? ⠀ ⚠️ It is not possible to partake of the Holy Communion during Great Lent every day. For this reason, I am writing dates when there will be no Communion in churches. March: 11, 12, 14, 18, 19, 21, 25, 26 and 28. April: 1, 2, 4, 8, 9, 15, 16 and 18. ⠀ В weekdays the Liturgy of the Presanctified Gifts (LPD) is celebrated in churches. Presanctified - this means that the Holy Communion was prepared in advance on Sunday. A similar custom occurs only during Great Lent, therefore the LTP also happens only during Great Lent. Traditionally, babies are not given communion at the LPD. This is due to the fact that not all infants can receive the Part of the Sacrament, which is prepared in advance on Sunday. On Saturday and Sunday, a full-fledged Divine Liturgy... On Saturday, the rite of the Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom, on Sunday, the rite of the Liturgy of St. Basil the Great. Due to the fact that the rite of the Liturgy of St. Basil the Great is longer in time, mothers with babies can come to Communion 10 minutes later than on ordinary days. ⠀ Preparation for the Sacrament is determined to the best of his ability by the Christian himself. There are two limits to the definition of preparation: 1. Preparation should not exclude the possibility of the Sacrament. For example, not all people can read everything. prayer rule to the Sacrament. 2. You cannot start Communion according to the principle - I want to go, but I want not to go. You need to start with reverence, being at peace with everyone and praying to God with your might. ⠀ With God, brothers and sisters in Christ!

short info for beginners who will read the Great penitential canon St. Andrew Cretan. ⠀ 1. Canon is a collection of prayers dedicated to an event or saint, based on nine biblical songs (events). 2. Irmos is the first stanza of one of the nine canon songs. 3. Troparion - one prayer from the canon. 4. Theotokos - troparion (prayer) dedicated to the Theotokos. 5. Trinity - the troparion dedicated to the Trinity. 6. Kontakion - short prayer, revealing the meaning of an event or glorifying a saint. 7. Ikos - full prayer, revealing the meaning of an event or glorifying a saint. ⠀ Nine Songs of the Canon. Nine songs performed during morning service canon, represented a poetic retelling of nine biblical songs from the New and Old Testaments: 1. "Exodus" XV, 1-19 - song of thanks after passing through the Red Sea (song of Mariama, sister of Moiseeva). 2. "Deuteronomy" XXXII, 1 - 47 - Instructions of Moses (the song of Moses on the passage of the Jews through the wilderness). 3. "Book of Kings" II, 2-10 - thanksgiving prayer Anna, mother of the prophet Samuel. 4. "Habakkuk" III, 2-19 - Prayer of Habakkuk (song of the prophet Habakkuk, who foresaw Christ, who was born of a Virgin). 5. "Isaiah" XXVI, 9-19 - the prayer of Isaiah (the song of the prophet Isaiah, who foreshadowed the miracle "as if the Virgin will receive and give birth to a son, Immanuel"). 6. "Jonah" II, 3-10 - the prayer of Jonah (the song of the prophet Jonah, who by his three-day stay in the belly of the whale represented the three-day burial and the Resurrection of the Savior). 7. "Daniel" III, 26-45, 52-56 - the prayer of Azariah and the beginning of the hymn of the three youths (the song of the three youths Ananias, Azariah and Misail, who did not burn in the Babylonian cave, which was a prototype of the Divine Incarnation). 8. "Daniel" III, 57-88 - a continuation of the hymn of the three youths (praise to the Lord, which these three youths sang, calling to this every creature: "Bless all the works of the Lord Lord, sing and exalt Him forever"). 9. "From Luke" I, 46-55, 63-79 - Mary's song (in honor of Holy Mother of God and also contains the prophecy of Zechariah, the father of St. John the Baptist). ⠀ The second canon of the canon is in most cases absent due to the accusatory and threatening nature of the second biblical song.