Comic forecast for the evening for the anniversary. Festive portal anniversary-na-bis.rf - everything for your anniversary

According to eastern horoscope, 2018 will be held under the auspices of yellow dog. Comic horoscope for 2018 will tell you what to expect different signs zodiac from animal.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for Aries

It's time for all Aries to put work on the backburner and say to themselves: “Hello, relaxation!” These guys worked really hard in the Year of the Rooster, it’s time to take a break and devote themselves to other areas of activity. Get yourself in order, powder your nose, take your significant other on your arm - and go ahead and look for adventures. Fortunately, as the comic horoscope for 2018 predicts, the Yellow Dog is ready to forgive you everything.

Attention! Don’t forget about your loved ones, they also need your attention - you can’t spend all your time in a stuffy office and with boring colleagues.

Definitely, next year Aries is the center of the Universe, the world revolves around you. But be careful with fans: there is a risk that someone will want to steal your heart seriously and for a long time. Don’t try to dive headlong into feelings. A dog will not help a drowning person, so remain vigilant.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for Taurus

Taurus, are you ready to lose your head? As the comic horoscope 2018 predicts according to the zodiac signs, the Year of the Dog is preparing something mind-blowing for you; quickly hide your horns, otherwise you may scare the animal. It's time to leave your slowness for later and get used to the frantic rhythm, so that you don't have to wait long for the desired results of your scams.

Millions of praise and flattering words will be addressed to the representatives of the sign, no criticism, only charm. What can we say about luck, it will be all next year hold Taurus by the arm and accompany you at all important events.

About eternal mutual love dreamed? Here you go! The dog has already managed to prepare for Taurus a meeting with their other half. Looking forward to the sweet taste of the future in 2018? It's about time!

Comic horoscope for 2018 for Gemini

The comic horoscope for 2018 according to the signs states that it’s time to gather all the will and strength into a fist and start changing your life. Hey Gemini, stop lying on the couch and waiting for something to change, get up quickly and get rid of all the unnecessary junk and bad thoughts. The dog has prepared many good opportunities for self-realization for representatives of the sign. Stay positive, change is just around the corner.

If you think about something for a long time, you can end up in the soup, as happened in the story with the rooster. Don't waste time, more action - less talk. And the Dog, for his good efforts, will help Gemini experience the taste of true bliss. And if love is long-term, no more five-minute crushes on public transport, under the auspices of the Dog only in the registry office.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for suspicious Cancers

Cancers were too mysterious and depressive, and the Dog came to change everything. Successes and new opportunities will fall into your claws themselves; all you have to do is grab them tightly and not let go. After all, the Yellow Dog doesn’t give everything for nothing, so it’s time for representatives of the sign to break stereotypes and change life principles, after all, the 21st century is just around the corner.

According to the comic horoscope for 2018, the Dog has prepared a sweet surprise for persistent and obedient Cancers in relationships. Tired of loneliness? Be ready to meet that very person who will gracefully enter your life and share your interests. Don't claw, otherwise you'll scare everyone around you.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for Leo

No matter what Leos do, things don’t work out? And all because, according to the comic horoscope, in 2018 you should put aside your excessive pride, and then the Yellow Dog will reward the representatives of the sign with worthy fruits. Popularity, excessive attention and many fans will fall on Leo’s shoulders like snow. However, this is not new for Leos, because they are used to basking in the rays of glory.

With their chic and lush mane, Lions will conquer more than one lonely heart; the prey itself will fall into the clutches of the king of beasts. You just need to reconsider your relationships with your loved ones; they are unlikely to like your wild ardor and pride, and the Yellow Dog also does not like selfish people.

Comic horoscope for Virgo

In 2018, the comic horoscope recommends that Virgos discard their mask of an unfortunate victim, otherwise the Dog may simply pass you by. From January itself, take matters into your own hands and begin to work fruitfully both on yourself and on your well-being, because this month will decide the outcome of the entire next year. The Dog will reward diligent Virgos with all the blessings and boundless happiness.

But in love it is worth observing complete peace: there will be no end to the fans, the main thing is to choose a worthy candidate for a future together.

Comic horoscope for Libra

In 2018, it’s time for representatives of the sign to forget about their own impulsiveness, but watch their speech. Inadvertently spoken words addressed to your superiors, work colleagues or loved ones may have a bad impact on your reputation, and the Dog will not be able to pull you out of the fog of reproaches.

The dog advises you to listen to what Libra is saying. Not always good words sound sincere, be careful. Communicate only with those who pull you forward, and not to the deep dark bottom. And stop weighing everything so carefully, otherwise you will be left with nothing, while your neighbor is already purchasing a new car.

Comic horoscope for Scorpios

A comic horoscope for 2018 for all signs promises Scorpios incredible wealth, love and luck, if the representatives of the sign stop stinging everyone. Energy will flow like a river, inspiring Scorpios to do new things and crazy things. These guys will get what they want career growth at any cost, even if you have to stick out your sting.

Carefully! Don't joke with Scorpios!

It’s time for representatives of the sign to melt their selfish hearts and show sensitivity, because without this, the Dog will not be able to help maintain harmony in their personal lives. Forget about narcissism, otherwise the patroness of the year may accidentally forget about you.

Comic horoscope for Sagittarius

What reward can Sagittarius expect in 2018? Of course, “Adviser of the Year”, because the wisdom of these guys is simply off the charts. They are ready to help anyone, for this the Dog certainly will not remain indifferent to the representatives of the sign. However, while helping others, you should not forget about yourself. Other people's problems are someone else's, but it's time to worry about your own too.

Good luck in financial sector cannot be avoided, you can safely change jobs and throw banknotes left and right - but be careful. Parties, unbridled fun and a lot of entertainment await Sagittarius, but don’t forget about sleep: with bags under your eyes, you may not notice the love of your life walking somewhere nearby.

Comic horoscope for Capricorns

In 2018, point your horns towards your goals: great success is close and any obstacles can be jumped over.

Forget about melancholy and boredom, the Dog has something to please the representatives of the sign - this is success both in finances and in personal life.

Cupid is already aiming straight at your heart and will shoot at it in 2018. Capricorns will drown in an ocean of love and attention, what else is needed for happiness? These guys know how to love and deserve love forever. Even if not, don’t be upset, any relationship is also an experience.

Comic horoscope for Aquarius

Who knows, these guys know how to spill water. And in 2018 they will be ready to pour out a stream of their endless ideas and creative impulses to the broad masses, and all thanks to the Dog with her inspiration for the representatives of the sign. It is better to take action and direct the stream of water in the right direction, then the result will be appropriate.

The eastern patroness also prepares surprises for Aquarius in their personal lives. A waterfall of love and passion will cover the representatives water element with your head, just remember to breathe so as not to lose your mind. And stop being so jealous, it's time to learn to trust your soulmate.

Comic horoscope for Pisces

2018 is the most favorable year for Pisces, in order to finally leave their usual aquarium and move to other water spaces. After all, as long as you can sit in one place, swim around and around, boldly swim forward and swim faster to your goals, and the Yellow Dog only accompanies these actions.

All the sea treasures will be yours as soon as you decide to go out into the world and conquer others. But for single Pisces, the coming year 2018 is simply ideal for dizzying novels, perhaps long-term ones. Be prepared, Cupid won't miss.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for schoolchildren and children

The comic horoscope for children for 2018 has prepared something very special - homework, of course, is not the same as schoolwork, but also important. All children of the zodiac signs should be more active both in school life and extracurricular activities. Then good grades will flow like a river, and there will be sweets not only on holidays.

Get creative and improve school processes, automatic cheat sheet scattering or a new cheating technique will also work. But at the same time, study, study, study - and praise will fall on your young shoulders, and then, look, gold medals are close. Be careful, otherwise you will have to wash the floor and wipe the dust in the classroom all year.

Comic horoscope in verse for 2018

Let's start with Aries for a comic horoscope in verse for 2018

These guys don't care

When do Taurus people know how to relax?

And only the best is selected.

And with Gemini you will never get bored,

They are always the soul of the company.

Cancers will spend a year without adversity,

They will devote time to love all the time.

And Leos with their beautiful words

Ready to conquer anyone.

Happiness will knock on the Virgos' house,

The dog will come rushing with good news.

Many wonderful hours await

In the year of the Dog of wise Libra.

It is better for Scorpios to hide their sting,

So as not to annoy Fortune.

And it’s time for Sagittarius to forget

About despondency and everyday life.

Note to Capricorns:

Don't swear incessantly.

Aquarius should act more boldly

Grab your lucky chance faster.

But Pisces will have to

Live a year without sorrows and grievances.

Leading:

Dear guests, today an astronomer and predictor came to us, who made a forecast for next year, intended for our hero of the day, based on the stars.

Details, attributes: a white robe, a folder of books under the arm, a telescope in hand and a poster-congratulations-prediction on coming year for the hero of the day. The prediction and poster are printed, and you don’t have to memorize the text, but simply read it from the sheet.
Astronomer:

Hello dear guests and our unrivaled hero of the day.
In the previous month, I worked on (NAME's) horoscope.
I was inspired by the location of the nearby planets Mars and Venus, and the unusual cycle of our sun.
After carefully determining the degrees between the Moon and other planets solar system, according to the existing pattern, spiral cyclicity, an exact and individual prediction for our (NAME).

A busy work schedule will bring a little discord in family relationships. Virgos' behavior has not satisfied their partners for some time. Virgos are used to controlling their loved ones, constantly teaching and being jealous. On this basis, relationships will cool, which can lead to separation....

Astrologer: What, did you wait? Here I am.
Applaud, friends.
Almost delayed me
Astrology is mine.
I got up early today
I counted all the stars.
I laid them out and collected them,
Here's what I learned from them.
The corporate guy is coming here
The people celebrate the holiday.
I started my starship
Scooter-high-speed.
And I got ready for the road,
I came to your cafe.
To read the stars
Find out all your secrets.
I’ll compose it for you without hassle
Alcohol horoscope.

IN lays out the stars on the table, mixes them up, and, pulling out one star at a time, reads out the horoscope (I made large stars out of shiny paper and on each star a horoscope for each zodiac sign was printed)

loves very much Scorpion
Lots of vodka and lemon.
And then he lies unconscious,
He asks to give him Borjom!
Are there Scorpios among us?
Let them support this very hour!

(The zodiac sign about whom the astrologer read raises a glass, repeats these words and drinks, thus everyone drinks in turn).

If you are born Sagittarius,

A pourer, a daredevil,
The whole company is at risk
Fall on your face in Olivier!
Are there Sagittarius among us here?
Let them support this very hour!

We confirm all the words, we drink a glass for this!

If you don't have a brother,
No sister - no problem!
Who to make friends with, who to get drunk with
Twins will always be found!
Are there Geminis among us here?
Let them support this very hour!

We confirm all the words, we drink a glass for this!

Cancer don't back away!
He is an alcoholic magnate at heart!
And in a strange stream he took root,
Because I got lost!
Well, are there Cancers among us?
Let them support this very hour!

We confirm all the words, we drink a glass for this!

Brave like a lion, but drinks like a horse
The one who Leo was born,
And when he sleeps while passed out
I dream about myself without a mane.
Well, are there any Leos among us here?
Let them support this very hour!

We confirm all the words, we drink a glass for this!

Vodka on the right, beer on the left -
Loves neatness Virgo.
Even if this Virgo
Petya, Sasha or Eva!
Well, are there Virgos among us?
Let them support this very hour!

We confirm all the words, we drink a glass for this!

Who was born to the joy of his mother
Under the heavenly scales
He's always involved in drunkenness,
Not always balanced.
A Scales is there among us here?
Let them support this very hour!

We confirm all the words, we drink a glass for this!

This peaceful mountain goat
After drinking, stubborn
No paths, no roads
He will find his native threshold!
Capricorns are there among us?
Let them support this very hour!

We confirm all the words, we drink a glass for this!

He pours without regret!
Aquarius is a dangerous sign.
After the doses he poured
Camatosis is coming!
Aquarius are there among us?
Let them support this very hour!

We confirm all the words, we drink a glass for this!

Fish love depth
If they drink, then more than one!
After a liter, no worries
Feel like you're in a fairy tale!
Well, are there Pisces among us?
Let them support this very hour!

We confirm all the words, we drink a glass for this!

Oh, it's not true that Aries
Everyone is teetotal and peaceful!
After a stormy feast
They love the sound of glass!
Well, are there Aries among us?
Let them support this very hour!

We confirm all the words, we drink a glass for this!

This gentle one Taurus
Patron of all hearts.
He is sociable, big-headed,
He'll give anything for a bottle!
Are there any Taurus among us here?
Let them support this very hour!

We confirm all the words, we drink a glass for this !

We will get today's weather forecast for our anniversary and birthday by easily redoing it in the restaurant from the previous article.

You just need to take it and make the necessary amendments - I’ll write now what to remove and what to add. A most text will remain unchanged.

For now, let’s assume that the anniversary also takes place in a restaurant or cafe. If I’m at home, I’ll write it below.

Weather forecast for anniversaries and birthdays.

• Instead of Denis Korablev, insert the name of the person who voices the forecast.
• The storms from the kidnapping of the bride are replaced with “... associated with preparations for the anniversary (birthday) have calmed down - we are all here, the holiday is in full swing, and the hero of the day (birthday) can already completely relax. The weather has settled above his table...”
• The text does not change further until the weather forecast for the morning. There you remove the line about the newlyweds and insert a phrase about the main person of the celebration: “The hero of the day will not be pressed anywhere, because he will really want to eat. As long-term observations of weather forecasters show, birthday people and anniversaries are always the hungriest people at their own holiday. At first they don’t eat out of excitement, then because everything has already been eaten by others.”
• “But those…” and then about the legs, dancing until the final phrase.

If the anniversary is at home, weather forecast

change it a little too:

• At the beginning, instead of the restaurant, say “at our house.”
• If guests are sitting at the same table, then remove the words “tables” and simply talk about people - children, youth, etc.
• The hurricane will not come from the restaurant management, but “from the neighbors if they hear loud music after 23.00. and trip over our empty bottles, secretly left by one of the guests on the landing. The music will be turned off along with the outlet, the remaining alcohol will be taken away, and you will have to run to the grocery store on duty to get it - if we have time.”
• Replace the external patio with a real place where guests go out to smoke or breathe - a balcony, courtyard, staircase, gazebo, etc.
• Call the place where the dances are held an impromptu dance floor, and the text will fit.
• If dancing is not provided, you can say the following instead: “Those guests who moved little today and drank a lot may be slightly stormy on the way home. The sidewalk will sway, the walls of the houses will stagger, and you will move with the gait of a sailor. If you already feel like there is a force 9 storm in the room, the Hydrometeorological Center strongly recommends taking a companion or calling a taxi.”
• Then end the forecast with wishes for good weather.

I also say goodbye to you for a short time - exactly until the “Weather forecast with an environmental bias”.

And while waiting, I advise you to look at two school weather forecasts in the sections “Skits...” and “Holiday at school.”

And, as always, I am glad to receive your feedback in the comments below the article - DO NOT be lazy, please write!

Wishing you only wonderful forecasts for your anniversary and birthday,

Your Evelina Shesternenko.

From the outside it often seems that everything is going very smoothly for you. But only you know to what temperature it has to be heated to create the effect of this “smooth” sliding. One can only envy the perseverance and determination with which you iron the reality given to you - often crumpled and unsightly - to the desired state. But how it transforms after your intervention, a mountain of crumpled material becomes a neat, freshly ironed pile. This world would be a much better place if there were more such transformers for the better!

Taurus:/You are a teapot!

If this were a furniture horoscope, you would, without a doubt, be a sofa - reliable, solid, but you can always be relied upon. But you are a teapot, don’t think anything bad, it sounds proud to us. You, like a samovar, are always at the head of the table, everything revolves around you. Everyone wants tea ten times a day, and that’s all for you. Everyone’s cups are small and empty, but you are big and full, so you fill the emptiness with meaning, the law of nature, so to speak. Moreover, everyone tries to look under the lid, they don’t understand that the water won’t boil before it boils. The idea, in general, is simple, but some people need to pour seven glasses of tea before they come up with the idea. Of course, you don’t feel sorry for it, but you still need to add water to the kettle on time, otherwise the spiral will burn out.

Gemini:/You are computers!

And with a complete set: your processor is smart, your monitor is clear, and your keyboard is ergonomic. You contain and process the most complex information when such a task is set, but to set it, you need a mouse. A computer without a mouse is a valuable system in itself, but it is impossible to use it. The mouse is the approach to the computer. In general, of course, you can plug in any one and use it at the very least, but your systems respond faster and better to fine optical control.

Cancer:/You are a gas stove!

Oooh, very good stove. You feed, supply, provide for everyone, take care of everything, worry about everyone, everything in your home revolves around you. You have all the warmth and sincerity, but sometimes you ask yourself: “Why am I baking and baking, but when will I live?” And then you answer to yourself: “I have a stove, that’s why I bake, my lot is to be on the farm all my life.” Sometimes you start to smoke a lot, and this is a serious test for everyone, including you. In reality, everything is not so bad bad, you just need to sit down, and this is not a whim, it is a necessity both for you and for those around you.

Leo:/You are a vacuum cleaner!

You overshadow all the sounds of this world; compared to you, everyone else is inaudible and insignificant. With a powerful stream of fresh air, you sweep away dust and routine, you can stir up any swamp, paint everything around with bright colors. You are a bundle of focused energy, and you are capable of drawing a lot into this stormy cycle, including things that you don’t need at all. You take on any task with the same enthusiasm, be it the size of a pin or the size of a closet. Learn not to be upset that you can’t fit a closet into yourself, think better: do you need it?

Virgo:/You are a video camera!

Look carefully at this world, notice everything, write it down, and present it in an analyzed, digitized form. Yes, this is a smart device, but it is wrong to think that it only records what is happening. Oh no! The sensitive optics of a video camera can miraculously transform reality, both for the better and for the worse. There are people who do not like a video camera and categorically do not want to shoot beautifully, but there are others - and they are the lucky ones. If the camera really loves someone, it will at least make a star in no time.

Libra:/You are a radio tape recorder!

It’s boring for the scale needle to show a banal number of kilograms; it’s much more fun to wander through the frequencies of FM stations. What a huge world lies in your range, how many feelings, thoughts, and melodies it contains. And how difficult it is to choose just one station. But you have to choose, because your tossing between frequencies is accompanied by terrible noise and crackling. On the other hand, it’s better to chatter for five minutes and then listen to good music, and this is always very helpful. They love you, everything is brighter and sharper with you, joy is fuller and fun is more unbridled, even being sad next to you is more pleasant.

Scorpio:/You are a harvester!

They are capable of crushing anything to smithereens; resistance is useless, because you can handle everything except concrete. You want real power over the world and you understand that no one has ever been able to achieve it without destructive power. This is the structure of this world: on the path of creation there is a stage of destruction, and creation is the second part of your nature, and the second stage of preparing a dish from chopped, planed, and twisted ingredients with a food processor.

Sagittarius:/You are TV!

And not only because you, just like the TV, emit heat and glow from the inside. The main thing is that you generously share everything you have with others. You give yourself to people. But what they say is true: don’t do good to people, you won’t see evil. People may criticize you and consider you a source of trouble. You tell them that you are just reflecting the real picture of the world, and in response they hear that everything is happening the other way around - the world is created in the image and likeness of what you show. Who is right, who controls whom? Perhaps only you know the truth.

Capricorn:/You are a refrigerator!

Important and thorough key figure not only in the kitchen, but throughout the house. Even though you are a refrigerator, you warm your soul. Calm and strict, it’s hard to guess what’s inside you from your appearance. And there, you know, there are hazel grouse with pineapples, or a couple of rotten apples, or even completely empty. In the case of the refrigerator, Carlson’s philosophical phrase is more true than ever: “There is nothing here, and there will never be anything here if you don’t put anything here!”

Aquarius:/You are a washing machine!

Not because in washing machine they also pour water, but because with the same seriousness and scrupulousness you approach any task that is “charged” to you. Only strong material can withstand such meticulousness, multiplied by the power of your nature; you can wear thinner fabric to the thread. Try to restrain your pressure, control yourself - sometimes everything is already clean, but you rinse and rinse. Learn to choose the right program, use a short cycle or delicate wash mode on occasion.

Pisces:/You cell phones!

You, just like a cell phone, at first glance are calm and don’t bother anyone, lie somewhere “in the corner,” but only until they start calling you. In the on mode, you pass through yourself huge amount information, including redundant and unnecessary information. But because you're a phone, you often can't choose who you talk to. It runs out of charge quite quickly and needs to be connected to a battery. But you, like cell phones, are constantly improving and enter each new stage in your life with a model of a new line.