How to disconnect between iPhone and watch. How to painlessly break off a relationship with a man: useful tips

What to do if you fell in love? Do you need to do anything at all? Where can I read instructions on relationships with the opposite sex? It is desirable that it (in the instructions) contain a description of this disease "", as well as the dosage, side effects and contraindications.

If the girls go to love relationship with their heads and do not think about anything, then young people begin to analyze and think - what to do in such a situation? Women fall in love (in their opinion) once and for all, but men understand that relationships are not an eternal feeling.

Love- this is a strong feeling that has its reflection on the psycho-emotional and physical level. Falling in love in psychiatry is considered an extremely positive feeling for our body. Moreover, a person can love not only an individual of the opposite sex, but also animals and some everyday items.

But, it is worth immediately noting a generally recognized psychological fact: when we love, our consciousness is distorted, as a result, we do not notice shortcomings or negative qualities partner.

Psychotherapists say: due to the fact that we perceive a loved one in distorted Relationships bring a lot of disappointment. The state of falling in love and passion passes quickly, but the feeling of deep conscious love, based on respect and acceptance of a person as he is - with shortcomings, virtues and character traits, does not come to all relationships.

The feeling of falling in love passes very quickly and either disappointment and a break in relations, or a deep feeling of true love comes.

After the period of distortion of consciousness due to falling in love passes, the person is visited by thoughts: “What did I find in her (him) (la)? Where were my eyes? Why did we spend so much time together? Why do I need this relationship? Why didn't we break up earlier?

At the stage of falling in love, a person is not able to see any flaws. He perceives everything only with the prefix "plus". When the stage of falling in love ends, the brain is able to analyze and perceive the partner more objectively. This stage of objective analysis is considered decisive in a relationship - either they will develop further or stop.

The difference between love and other feelings

How is love different from other feelings? What is this feeling anyway? Can love go against passion? Psychologists say no. If a person truly falls in love, then sex or physical intimacy in its general sense is not important to him. The main thing is that the object of love and adoration is just there. This feeling is what love is.

Moreover, you fall in love with a person completely - in his voice, in his walk and even in bad habits. Falling in love cannot last for years, this is a temporary feeling, but it is an important element of any relationship.

A love relationship cannot be built without love and adoration.

Falling in love can completely pass in a month, or it can stretch for whole year. AT this case it all depends on whether the feeling is mutual or not.

A person experiences the period of falling in love much more intensely, more emotionally than love. Psychologists consider falling in love to be the final emotional state, that is, it stops at some stage and does not develop further. Only love can follow falling in love, but it is many times different from this feeling. Otherwise, falling in love ends with disappointment in a partner or an indifferent attitude.

Love can be unrequited and mutual.

"I fell in love" - ​​the opinion of psychologists

When we start to feel warm love feelings to the object of our adoration, then events can develop exclusively according to two scenarios: we become as close as possible to our loved one, or we are ashamed of our feelings and move away from him.

At the physical level, the state manifests itself in the form of increased anxiety, a feeling of anxiety, and worries. The lover is sometimes sad, sometimes very happy, which is an absolutely normal state.

The difference in emotions during the period of falling in love is the norm.

If the feelings did not find their response from the opposite sex, then the person may become depressed, and his general psycho-emotional state is characterized as depressed.

What to do if you fell in love? Believe it or not, the answer is very simple. If the love is mutual, then you will completely plunge into these new emotions for you. You will strive to be closer to your partner, hug him, kiss him, listen, spend as much time as possible together. If the feelings are not mutual, then the feeling of falling in love passes very quickly.

Have you realized that you have very warm, tender feelings for a certain person? And would you like him to reciprocate? In this case, psychologists recommend being more decisive. You can write a message about how you feel, give a gift with a note inside, or have the courage to go directly to the object of your adoration and say that you like this person and would like to invite him to dinner. Don't jump straight to more. decisive action- so you can only scare away your beloved (wow). Slow, careful steps towards your partner will allow you to build sincere. Moreover, in order not to be disappointed in these relationships later, try to get to know the person more during the period of falling in love - how he lives, what he does in his spare time, how he treats the family, whether he has bad habits, is he jealous, is he able to show in relationships (for example, raising a hand against a woman), etc. The more you get to know your loved one, the easier it will be for you to build a deep love relationship with him.

Love is a wonderful feeling and should never be feared. Love and be healthy and happy!

From English, the word "love" is translated as limerence - this is a strong feeling or a complex of them, which psychologists consider positive. The object of this feeling is another person (animal, object). Attention: psychologists say that falling in love brings with it a narrowing of consciousness, due to which the assessment of a beloved object is significantly distorted. This is psychological feature, which must be taken into account when falling in love.

Because of this distorted assessment of reality, there are many disappointments later. You endowed a girl with certain qualities, and then it turned out that she was completely different. And when time passes, and you look at the object of your love with already sober eyes, the thought very often comes to mind: “And what did I find in her?”

But it will be later. In the meantime, a person does not see absolutely no shortcomings in the object of love, but the merits acquire simply gigantic proportions.

How is love different from other feelings?

The state when a person has fallen in love differs from sexual attachment or passion in that sex is not the main thing in this case. They fall in love with a person completely - his gait, habits, voice, and so on. But, unlike love, falling in love is more intense and stormy, but less long-lasting. It can pass in a week, or maybe in six months - it depends on the character and perseverance of the one who fell in love, as well as on whether this love is mutual or not.

When a person falls in love, he experiences much more and stronger than when he fell in love. Scientists characterize this state as final, but the exact boundaries of falling in love are individual, it is quite difficult to determine them even for professionals. According to the strictest estimates, falling in love can last up to two years. But, no matter how happy you are in the state of falling in love, or, conversely, no matter how much you suffer, know that falling in love has one more important property: finiteness. Sooner or later, it ends, turning either into persistent and strong love, or into indifference or disappointment.

And, of course, if you fell in love, this state can be

  • Mutual
  • unrequited

What do social psychologists say about those who fall in love?

If you fell in love, the first thing a person does is try to be closer to the object of his passion. Or, embarrassed, hides away from this object, but this does not negate his desire to be closer. These two features are noted by social psychologists when falling in love.

If you fell in love, this is also determined by physical symptoms: a state of anxiety or restlessness, or causeless joy, or a swing of emotions from unbridled happiness to hopeless sadness. Unrequited love is usually distinguished by such a symptom as longing.

When you ask yourself "What to do if you fell in love", note that the state of being in love does not depend on whether it is mutual or not. If the love is not mutual, in 90% it quickly passes. But if the object of love even slightly responds to passion, falling in love can last much longer.

So what do you do if you fall in love?

First, ask your child about it. Children can express thoughts that, despite their simplicity, are very useful to us adults. Answer options:

  • You need not be afraid, but go to meet. (Marta, 5 years old)
  • Say it to the person's face. You can't keep everything to yourself. (Frosya, 11 years old)
  • Well, if you are an adult, then you can kiss ... (whispering) ashamed to say, on the lips. (Rebecca, age 5)
  • Get married and make friends. (Mark, age 6)
  • Look for ways to prevent this. (Petya, 9 years old)

Seriously, when falling in love, you need to take into account all the information that you read above and decide: do you want to make contact with your object of love? If so, go ahead, decide, find out. And be happy or, conversely, suffer silently. Perhaps your love will not pass as quickly and imperceptibly as it began.

When we fall in love, we all go a little crazy - this is a natural process (but still a shame). In a state of hormonal storm, it is very easy to do stupid things that you yourself will regret later. And if in the good old tube days there were not so many options - well, call first, and even, maybe guard at the house - then in the era of the Internet there are ways to show your passion and scare an object to death - through the roof. And how to live with it?

Don't flood him with likes

Please, very, very much, we ask you not to like and comment on every post on Facebook and every photo on Instagram. It seems to you that this is completely innocent and, most importantly, sincere - you are really delighted with how he thinks, how he writes ... But believe me: from the outside it looks terribly deliberate - both to him and to all your common acquaintances can immediately see that you literally graze on his page. Instead of gently scratching his ego, you will sleep like a youngster, and even put him in an uncomfortable position.

Don't post boobs and then boobs again and then more boobs

You want to make a favorable impression on him so much that now every new photo masterpiece of yours on Instagram is created solely for him. Do you try to show him all the most beautiful things that you have, immediately and in the best possible way? That is, time after time you post photos of your bust in all possible forms and turns - in the hope that it

  • put a like (many likes!);
  • will appreciate your charms and wish for the fastest tactile contact with them.
No need. We won’t even explain why, just believe: it’s not necessary.

Don't be a facebook stalker

You want to know absolutely everything about him, so you study all his accounts in all networks, look and google all his friends, relatives, ex girls or just acquaintances: “And what kind of whore gives him a heart? Who is she to him anyway? Now let's find out how long they have been friends with each other .... And how many mutual friends do we have? Oh, yes, she is friends with my classmate! Now I'll try everything about her ... "

Stop, don't embarrass yourself and don't waste your time on these obsessive-compulsive games. No need to play homegrown Sherlock Holmes. If you really like this person and want to get to know each other better, it’s better to take the first step yourself than to sit for hours trying to put together the puzzle of his life.

Do not bombard him with messages - he needs a companion, not a spammer

If you're already in touch, that's great! But if you write him “sheet” after “sheet”, and he occasionally inserts “yeah”, “lol” and a couple of emoticons, then something is wrong here, agree. Communication should be mutual, and your contribution to it should be equal, otherwise why bother? No, do not think that we advise you to wait a day after each message and constantly calculate the proportion of which of you wrote more and which less. We are against completely artificial sexist “rules” in the spirit of “while the fish is not yet on the hook, the girl must pretend to be difficult prey - you can’t call and write first, you can’t show that you are interested in him; on the contrary, one must pretend that your time always filled” (why these stupid rules don’t work anyway, we told in detail).

You can and should be open and sincere, you don't need to play these false games. And yet, the opposite extreme is also an amateur: if you overwhelm him with your declarations of love, admiration, expressions of feelings, tell him in detail everything that happened to you during the day, with practically no reciprocal interest, please stop. If you can’t keep silent, write about your love in a diary, or something (paper, not LiveJournal).

Do not start immediately with defeatist notes

Falling in love makes us insecure - we want to please him so much that we lose all our landmarks and pillars of self-esteem. This task - to please, to be chosen by him in the same way that we chose him - seems incredibly difficult, almost unattainable. Keep in mind that this is a cognitive distortion: your brain is in love, hormones disrupt thinking, distort self-esteem and exaggerate the significance of the object.

How many of us, when the madness of falling in love passed, gradually began to realize that the prince who charmed them was, in general, not such a prince - not so inaccessible, not so popular, not so hot, but in some ways even completely loser, and there was no queue of photo models and beauty queens for him at all ... In general, the guy could be taken with his bare hands - and you were sitting at home, watering his photos with tears and sending prayers to heaven in the spirit of “Good God, please let he wants to sleep with me at least once...” Hey, you didn’t find yourself in the garbage heap! There is no need for these defeatist moods, there is nothing to think so cheaply, dream big!

Don't give up on the rest of your life

You are now in the power of hormones - it's like on drugs. First of all, say thank you not even to sex hormones, but to the neurotransmitter dopamine - the “hormone of drug addicts” (aka the hormone of pleasure and the hormone “give me this urgently !!!”) Anthropologist Helen Fisher, the famous researcher of the “brain in love”, showed using MRI : in the area of ​​the brain with a romatic (hmm?) name "ventral tire area", which is responsible for pleasure, addiction and motivation, people in love have the same activity as cocaine addicts. Are more explanations needed?

Drug addicts are, you know, guys who do not lead the most healthy lifestyle life. The “natural drugs” that falling in love gives you now are much more useful and safer, and yet do not let the ocean of passion swallow up the rest of your life. Get enough sleep, eat regularly - and healthy food (yes, yes, and you have to remind about this, because the hormonal cocktail of love literally beats off your appetite!), Try to follow the regimen. Work, study, relatives, friends, hobbies - in the intoxication of falling in love, you really want to give up on all this. All this seems so small, boring and uninteresting in comparison with your great feeling - and in comparison with it, the only and incomparable beloved!

And yet, remind yourself at least slightly, unobtrusively: you are now on hormones, you are not all right with your head, your picture of the world is now distorted. Try not to put all your eggs in one basket, let you have more leads in your life for something other than the object of your passion. Many girls, every time they fall in love, completely score on friends and girlfriends. By the way, it’s a shame for your friends - to lick your wounds, then you will crawl to them later! You don’t want to talk about sad things, and yet - don’t turn into Chekhov’s Darling, cultivate your own interests, separate from your beloved, remind yourself that you love and what you were fond of before you met him.

"The world revolves around love. He kneels before her" - so said one of the thinkers, unfortunately, we are unable to remember who. It really is. All the best manifestations within us, like all the worst, arise because of love for a person, for a cause, for God, and so on. The feeling of love cannot be rationally described or evaluated, although many of the most prominent philosophers and scientists have tried to fit it into the framework of various sciences. What to do if love came into our life suddenly? How to resist the powerful onslaught of your feelings? Today we will reflect on this. Let's start small.

Q: What should I do if I fall in love?

First of all, answer yourself the question of what kind of love? If you can accurately determine why you fell in love with a person, then such a feeling cannot be called love in the classical sense. Psychologists distinguish several types of love. Among them are such as "mother's love for the child", " passionate love"," love-dependence", "love-duty" and so on. In our article, let's agree on the following. By love we will understand the love between a man and a woman, although this definition is not clear.

The most important thing to do is to reveal your feelings. There is great amount opinions on this matter. But we believe honesty is the best policy. Loved a person, tell him about it. Of course, it is impossible to predict the reaction. Without a doubt, such a confession shocks people. All sorts of thoughts come to mind. Say you love. If you really love a person, then do not demand anything from him. Remember, he is absolutely not obliged to answer you the same.

Fell in love with a friend. What to do?

The main problem in such a situation is to overcome the status-role barrier. Suppose that you have known each other for a long time, and already a large number of years you are friends. How to get rid of the role of a friend? How to break this barrier? Any serious change requires a complete change in the picture of the world of a person, a change in his orientations and opinions. Yesterday's goals may no longer mean anything if today you realize that you love this person. And love him not as a friend, but as a lover. How to act in such a situation? Again, we stick to a strict line. Honesty is the best policy. You need to tell the person how you feel. If you hide them, then believe me, you will feel worse and worse every day. By opening, you will remove from yourself a burdensome burden that will put pressure on your shoulders.

Fell in love with a married man. What to do?

Highly difficult situation arises when the person who we fell in love with has already arranged his life. And you are not the first person in his life. Does our policy work here? Is honesty really the best policy in this case? To some extent, yes. Different people deal with such a complex crisis in different ways. It is known that destroying a man's family is the last thing that good man. You can tell the person how you feel. Say you love him. But how will he take it? And what can he do in this situation? It is unlikely that he is able to improve your well-being and answer the same strong love. Even if your feelings are mutual, for sure, the conscience will torment many for the fact that he secretly steals someone's love. Although it often happens that everything is not so dramatic. Many marriages cannot be called happy and, quite often, marriage is a dry contract, where the spouses come to an agreement and can arrange their personal lives in any way. The main purpose of marriage in this case is the care of children. What to do? If you feel really bad about loving a married person, then it's best to leave. Travel far. Leave to live for a long time. "Out of sight, out of mind".

Fell in love with a friend. What to do?

In such a situation, you should ask yourself, again, what kind of love in question. It often happens that strong friendships can be confused with erotic love especially under the influence of psychoactive substances such as alcohol. Do not hurry. Understand yourself. Talk about how you feel. First describe your bodily sensations, then your feelings, and then your thoughts. Do not use the word "love", because, unfortunately, it is a cliché. Anything goes under this word. All this must be done alone or with a qualified psychologist.

Falling in love does not always cause a feeling of joy and inspiration. Some girls are lost from the surging feelings, not knowing how to behave further. First you need to determine if you are really in love!

How to know if it's really love

Using social networks, you are trying to determine what a young person is interested in, with whom he most often communicates, who he likes. Particularly persistent girls find the former passions of their lovers, and study information about them.

Jealousy

You are jealous of him. To former and potential girls, to girlfriends and fleeting acquaintances. Jealousy is always very eloquent, and will not hide the true attitude towards a person.

change

Most girls in love are preoccupied with the question of how to attract the attention of the one they like. young man. Most often, the choice falls in the direction of external changes, and they can be very diverse. Someone decides to change their wardrobe, someone wants to change their hair color and the like. Some girls begin to focus on the likely taste preferences of the object of sympathy, while someone does not proceed to radical changes, but simply begins to take care of themselves more intensively.

Atypical behavior

Trying to please their beloved, charmed girls often have atypical behavior for themselves. This can manifest itself in different ways: some show excessive shyness, afraid to say a word, while others behave very actively. In the second case, the girl in love tries to joke a lot, laugh and be the center of attention, even if this is usually not too typical for her.

Mood change

Falling in love, we experience a whole range of different feelings, and, of course, this cannot but affect the general mood. In one minute, it seems to the girl that her lover will never pay attention to her or is completely interested in the other, and this makes her plunge into gloomy thoughts. A few minutes later, the lover recalls the signs of attention paid to her, and comes to the conclusion that she got excited with the conclusions, instantly coming into a great mood.

New hobbies

Feeling sympathy for another person, we want reciprocity, and often begin to think that we are not as good as we could be. Such awareness makes people learn new sports, look for interesting hobbies. Often, preference is given to those areas in which the object of sympathy is also interested.

What to do when it seems that you have fallen in love with a guy

Keep your mouth shut, even in front of your best friends

Many girls, having fallen in love with a guy, almost immediately share this news with their friends, and sometimes even with random interlocutors. Sometimes this can work against the narrator herself. A guy can learn about her feelings from other people, and the girl will feel embarrassed, especially if this story reaches him in a distorted form. If you fail in seducing a young man and want to quickly turn this page of life, then later the questions of your girlfriends will only interfere with this. And in general, it is better to wait for reciprocity, and only then share this joy.

Don't be afraid and don't panic

If you want to get the attention of a guy, then panic in this matter is completely inappropriate. It is important to feel confident and communicate with him as if he were yours. good friend. Behave naturally and naturally, excessive panic can work against you.

Find out as much as you can about it.

To interest the guy you like, it would be nice to know about his tastes and preferences. It is also important to find out if he is free. After all, it may happen that you begin to develop violent activity around him, and later it turns out that he has been in a relationship for a long time. By the way, this fact may not always be obvious on social networks, so it’s better to clarify the status of a lover through mutual friends or somehow unobtrusively in a personal conversation. Currently pages in social networks can tell a lot about their owners - about musical preferences, hobbies and much more.

Go to action

Of course, even a very careful observation of a young man will bring you closer to him only in your own thoughts, while he may not even know about your existence or simply not think about you at all. A fairly common way to attract the attention of a young man is flirting. If a guy understands that he is of personal interest to you, this will increase your chances! Many guys are hesitant to be the first to show sympathy for girls, fearing that it may not be mutual. By indicating right away that you like him, you can quickly achieve certainty. Even if it becomes clear that while the guy is not very interested in your communication, you will save yourself from unnecessary loss of time that could be spent waiting for his initiative.

Don't be intrusive, but be in his sight

In coquetry and flirting, it is important to observe the measure. A hint that you like the guy is enough - nothing more is needed. Do not try to immediately become a part of his life and constantly be in touch with him if there is less initiative from him than from you. Periodically initiate communication with him if he does not, but this should not be daily - let him have the opportunity to miss you.

Give the guy time to win you over.

You should not expect that immediately after the young man begins to communicate with you, he will immediately begin to take steps towards rapprochement. All people are different, and it is possible that he will need more time than you to “look closely”. Perhaps he is also studying you, trying to figure out how best to start a relationship. Of course, there are guys who, after the first hint of sympathy, are ready to call for a date, but there are much fewer such active ones.

Pros and cons if he is younger

Plus Such relationships give a woman an incentive to look better in order to match her chosen one. She begins to follow fashion trends more carefully, to be interested in new products in the field of cosmetology, and in general, she tries to keep abreast of all the latest “trends”. As a rule, falling in love with a man younger than themselves, women find ways to visually “throw off the years.” An interesting pastime. This will be especially a plus for active women who do not feel their age and are interested in the same hobbies as several years ago. Minus Some of the fair sex, being in relationships with men younger than themselves, eventually begin to cultivate complexes in themselves. It begins to seem to them that their couple looks awkward, where the partner is clearly losing against the background of the partner. Such thoughts can gradually turn into jealousy and neuroses. It begins to seem to a woman that her chosen one is completely frivolous, unlike her peers. Gradually, at his age, she begins to see a big minus for herself. Although, as a rule, childishness in the behavior of men is not always dictated by age.

Is it worth developing sympathy and winning the heart of the chosen one?

Of course, if you have serious feelings for a person, then this is a very significant reason to try to start a relationship with him. An exception may not be reciprocity or the principles of a potential partner. Some men (like women) don't greet big difference aged, and if your chosen one holds similar views, then most likely you will only lose time trying to somehow attract his attention.

Fell in love with a movie actor, singer, or fictional character

Fanaticism

Fanaticism - an excessive manifestation of interest in someone or something, many people are subject to, and we can talk about different areas: religion, cinema, music and more. If a we are talking about some hobby famous person or the hero of a movie (books), then the situation is completely under control. Girls under the age of 16-18 often fall in love with their idols, so in this case you should not worry - many have gone through this. However, the situation becomes more complicated if an adult girl or woman is in love with a star or character. A particularly difficult case is if in this case she refuses relationships with the men who surround her, devoting all her free time to researching the life of an idol and persecuting him (if possible). Such behavior can lead to serious problems in emotional state and personal life.

How to get out of this state and fall in love with a real person

If a hobby goes beyond acceptable limits, and you have been told about it repeatedly, you should think about how to get rid of your obsession. Think about why you are interested in this particular person, and not some person from your real life. Most likely, you think that in your environment there are no worthy contenders for your attention who could compare with your idol. Perhaps this is true, and then the obvious conclusion suggests itself - the environment needs to be changed! Sign up for interesting courses that are more often attended by guys, and, most likely, soon you will be able to meet interesting person in real life. Realize that the person you fell in love with does not exist! Yes this is true. Any well-known creative personality or character is just an image that has been carefully thought out by someone, precisely in order to arouse the interest of the public. If no arguments can distract you from thoughts about a star, and there is no doubt that this obsession does not you build a happy personal life (even if you think that you don’t need it), then there is a serious reason to seek help from a specialist. There is nothing shameful in this - psychologists solve such problems much more often than you think.

The most difficult situations

When I fell in love with a friend

Do not panic ahead of time. Often happy couples are formed in this way - a guy and a girl are friends for some time, and then imperceptibly fall in love with each other. If we are talking about a real friend, then you can frankly confess your feelings to him. Perhaps soon they will turn out to be mutual, and your confession will make the guy look at you from a new perspective.

Fell in love with my boyfriend's friend

Most likely, this happened due to the fact that some problems have formed in your current relationship that you may not have even thought about. First of all, try to establish a connection with your boyfriend, and then, most likely, falling in love with another person will disappear by itself.

I have strong feelings for a girl (girlfriend)

It is possible that such feelings could arise against the background of general dissatisfaction in his personal life and disappointment in the guys. Failing to find the right partner, sometimes girls begin to look at representatives of their own sex with a new look, believing that only another woman can truly understand a woman. There are dating sites, various courses and interesting places where you can meet a decent and understanding young man - make a few more attempts!

A married man conquered the heart

The best way out of this situation is to try to turn your attention to someone else. Married man- this can only be intriguing and exciting at first, but in the end it inevitably leads to conflicts, tears and condemnation. Try to avoid it right now.

Lost her head from her boss or teacher

Sometimes a relationship develops between a boss and a subordinate or a teacher and a student, but most often such love does not lead to anything serious. It is worth remembering that often men, being in a higher position, thus simply use girls. Yes, and girls sometimes confuse their enthusiasm for the status and professional qualities of a potential chosen one with falling in love. Although, of course, there are exceptions and really loving and happy couples are formed.

Non-reciprocal love or when relationships are simply impossible

How to fall out of love

If you cannot be together, then you need to do everything possible to delete this person not only from your life, but also from your thoughts. The easiest way to do this is to fill your everyday life with new hobbies and acquaintances. Write down your schedule for the next month to the minute, and stick to it. It is important that the schedule includes more meetings with new people (courses, trainings, etc.). Work out, hang out with guys, have fun (even if you don't feel like doing it all), and "healing" won't take long.

forget and let go

Having fallen out of love with a person, you will soon let him out of your life. At first you have to force yourself, but then everything will go easier - do not be interested in him, do not follow him on social networks, do not try to somehow get in touch. Imagine that it has never been in your destiny at all. By the way, travel is a good way to set yourself in the right mood.

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