Dream blue wallpaper. Dream Interpretation: what do you dream about? Wallpaper
Let us remember Carnegie, who wrote the following: “A man’s name is the sweetest and most important sound to him in any language.” If you didn’t catch the name of your interlocutor, don’t hesitate to ask again. If this is a telephone conversation, write down his name so as not to accidentally forget. The fact is that when you use any name substitutes, even affectionate or respectful ones, the interlocutor suspects that you simply forgot his name. And you really might forget it, so it's better to be safe. If it is not possible to write down the name of a new acquaintance, use the simplest mnemonic techniques: you probably already have an acquaintance with the same name (and if not, then this is definitely the name of some celebrity), and all you need to do is remember him during a conversation. The situation is more complicated with rare and foreign names, but even here mnemonics will help you: quickly come up with a simple poem, even a completely crazy one, in the spirit of “Li Zhenfan is flying to Kazan” - and you are guaranteed to remember this name later.
Make a mistake
Oddly enough, the easiest way to win over any person is to make a mistake and let him correct you. Usually we do exactly the opposite: we try not to make a mistake under any circumstances, and if we do, we try to pretend that nothing like that happened. And thus we force everyone around to pretend that they didn’t notice anything. At this moment, those around you feel extremely awkward; they do not at all want to continue acquaintance.
But if you make a mistake and allow a person to correct you, you are killing three birds with one stone. Firstly, he feels more confident because his pride is flattered by this situation; secondly, he can communicate with you more freely; and thirdly, he himself is not afraid to make mistakes in front of you.
Compliment your interlocutor in the third person
Sometimes it can be awkward to give a direct compliment simply because there is no suitable reason. In addition, you want the compliment not to be routine, because the banal “You look great today” won’t endear you to many people. What to do? Give compliments, but in the third person.
For example, like this: “Maria Ivanovna, Vasily Petrovich told me that you - best doctor in our city." It doesn’t matter whether Vasily Petrovich said it, and it doesn’t matter who he is. The main thing is that this character (quite probably completely fictitious) Maria Ivanovna was openly flattered. It seems like it’s not good to openly flatter your interlocutor, but it’s not you—it’s Vasily Petrovich. But they will remember you as a pleasant person, and not this very Vasily.
Mirror your interlocutor's posture
But carefully. So that he doesn’t feel like you’re imitating him. If your interlocutor is sitting with his hands folded on the table, it is better for you to also put your hands on the table, but a little differently. If he supports his head with his hand, you can straighten his hair, tuck a strand behind his ear, or touch his chin. It works very simply: posture reflects our internal state, and we perfectly read body language, we just don’t realize it. And if you mirror the pose, this is a sign: you feel the same as your new acquaintance. And it is always more pleasant for us to communicate with those who experience the same feelings as us.
Bare your wrists
And show their insides more often. This is a simple bodily signal: you feel safe, you trust your interlocutor, you do not expect anything bad from him. This is captivating.
Sympathize
It is clear that people are most interested in themselves. If you find it difficult to sympathize with a person you know nothing about, you should listen more carefully to him: in fact, we complain all the time. For bad weather, for traffic, for poor health and for the behavior of others. On drowsiness and lack of coffee, in the end. It’s just not customary to focus on this, these are words spoken into emptiness, words that take up awkward pauses. You are expected to simply agree with them. And don’t just agree, but sympathize. Of course, there is no need to rush to the person with consolations - this is not the reason. But say something like “How I understand you!” You’ve had a hard day, it will end soon, hang in there” won’t hurt.
Make your interlocutor praise himself
It's basic, but it always works. Everyone loves to brag about their achievements, and all you have to do is exclaim in time: “Wow! You have to have an iron will to pull this off!” It doesn’t matter what we’re talking about: work, a hobby or losing weight. Most likely, the interlocutor will answer you with something like: “Okay, nothing special,” but will think to himself: “Wow, I’m great!” That's it, it's done.
Ask for a favor
It seems to us that we can win over a person by providing him with some small favor. This works, but not always: if you help a person in an awkward situation, he may avoid further communication simply because it is unpleasant for him to remember his “shame.” But acting as a savior is a completely different matter. President Franklin once said, “He who has once done you good will be more willing to help you again than one whom you have helped yourself.” This phenomenon is known as the Benjamin Franklin effect. A person who shows kindness to another grows in his own eyes, which means he is always ready to continue communication, because this reminds him of how wonderful, reliable and generally a hero he is. The main thing is not to abuse this method, because no one likes dependent beggars, of course.
Have you ever wondered why some people are liked by everyone around them without making any effort? And others, despite their efforts, fail to win the favor of others. Today we will talk about what habits make others respect you.
It's all about habits
Hill cited Charles Schwab, a steel manufacturing magnate, as an example of such a person. Schwab managed to transform himself from a simple worker into an executive with an annual salary of $75,000 and regular million-dollar bonuses.
Schwab’s boss, the famous entrepreneur Andrew Carnegie, spoke of his subordinate’s work this way: “Schwab was paid a year’s salary for the work that he himself did, and million-dollar bonuses were an incentive for what Schwab, thanks to his outstanding personal qualities, forced others to do.”
14 Attractive Qualities and Habits
What qualities do people have that others like:
- They create a positive psychological attitude and charge others with it
It's always easier to be a cynic and a pessimist. But with such an attitude it is not easy to achieve success and gain a good reputation. But a positive attitude, on the contrary, significantly contributes to the achievement of these goals.
- They always speak in a respectful, friendly tone
Such people are always confident in what they say. Therefore, their speech is calm and conscious, which gives it a pleasant sound.
- They listen carefully to their interlocutors
Communicating in an arrogant, lecturing manner is a great way to satisfy your ego, but it is a disastrous path for those who want to please their interlocutors and establish friendships.
- They know how to maintain composure in any situation
An overly emotional reaction, either positive or negative, can create a bad impression of a person. Remember that silence can often convey information to the interlocutor much more effectively than filled negative emotions words.
- They are calm
Appropriateness of words and actions is one of the most important qualities that people love and respect others for.
- They are open-minded and open-minded
People who are closed to new ideas and maintain relationships exclusively with like-minded people miss the opportunity not only personal development, but also the opportunity for professional growth.
- They smile while talking to others
Hill claims that the most valuable property American President Franklin Roosevelt had his gorgeous million dollar smile. It was she who unwittingly forced his interlocutors to be more open during communication.
- They know that they don’t have to voice all their thoughts.
Such people know that they should not offend people by expressing all their thoughts, even if these thoughts are true.
- They don't like to hesitate
Procrastination is an indicator that you are afraid to act. Which in turn is an indicator of your lack of effectiveness.
- They perform at least one act of kindness every day
They help others just like that, without expecting anything in return.
- They don't complain about failures, they learn from them
People admire those who can accept and cope with failure with grace. Successful people they thank fate for a portion of life wisdom that would not have come to them if they had not had to face failure.
- They treat their interlocutor as if he were the most important person in the world
The people most liked by others use communication as a way to get to know the other person, so they give him the opportunity to speak.
- They know how to sincerely, without fawning, praise others
They never miss an opportunity to praise others, but they do so only when the praise is truly deserved.
- They have someone whose opinion they listen to regarding their own shortcomings
Successful people don't pretend to be liked by others. Others like them for who they really are. One of their secrets is that they constantly work on their behavior and reputation. And having someone to point out their flaws helps them to continuously continue the process of personal growth.
Our “theory of attraction” does not, but it does relate directly to you - you are a full-fledged element of its equation, and your closest friends, including your girlfriend, are an X about whom you still have a lot to learn. In essence, when we were preparing this article, we decided to ask ourselves a fairly simple and at the same time difficult question- why are we attracted to this or that person? Why do we like this type of woman? Why do we only be friends with those we are friends with? This is not just an accident, destiny or the will of the gods - our choice can be explained from a rational point of view. As a result, we came up with four main factors that can explain attraction to a particular person.
1. Physical attractiveness
This is the most decisive thing in the case of first acquaintance. If we don’t like a person’s appearance (even if we're talking about about friends, not girlfriends), then we, with high probability, we just won’t talk to him. A person's appearance greatly influences our understanding of him. This speaks not only about conscious motives, but also about unconscious ones. People whom we consider ugly are perceived by our psyche as potentially dangerous to our health. That is, our subconscious tells you: “There is something wrong with this guy, he is probably sick - stay away from him.” Or: “This girl looks too sick. It’s better not to get to know her, otherwise there will be weak children.”
Signs of health are clear skin, thinness, strong body, good teeth, bright eyes, shiny hair and so on. Beauty is often associated with health. On the other side, different people find different things attractive (although there is something in common in the concept of beauty), which reduces physical attractiveness to personal taste.
2. Proximity
Intimacy isn't the first thing that comes to mind when you think about why you like a certain person, but it plays a pretty big role. By closeness we mean regularity of meetings. That is, you are more likely to like a person you see every day at work than a person you met five minutes ago. This is a trace of our prehistoric past, because it is always safer to hang out with your friends than with strangers - and this truth cannot be corrected even by the strongest dose of tolerance.
This factor can also be explained from a logical perspective - the more time we spend with specific person, the more we learn about him, and this, in turn, means that trusting relationships begin to build. At the same time, if you know a person only with negative side, then, against the backdrop of unpleasant associations, you begin to communicate with him less and less, which excludes this person from your inner circle. As you can see, the theory of attraction works from both ends at once.
3. Similarities
Similarity is also an important factor. And we are not talking only about external similarity, although this still determines the circle of our communication. You yourself know that Russians like to hang out with Russians, Jews with Jews, and Azerbaijanis with Azerbaijanis. Not in particular, but in bulk. But besides the external similarity, there is also a similarity in terms of our views.
The common basis can be anything - from politics and religion, to what we think about breeding dogs and children. We are drawn to people who do the same work or are interested in the same literature, love the same cinematic genres or sports games. Shared beliefs enhance our own personal power because like-minded people are more likely to show us respect. We, in turn, show respect to them - everything is a plus.
4. Reciprocity
There is another factor, namely reciprocity. Everything is simple here. If someone finds us attractive, then we respond to these pleasant people in the same coin. If someone loves us, then we, most likely, also treat such people warmly. If your friend has fun with you, then you have fun with him.
Being the center of attention is always flattering for each of us, so we will try to encourage such behavior on a psychological level.
Naturally, this factor works more often if factors such as physical attractiveness and similarity have already come into force. But sometimes we like people who are completely unattractive and unlike us. Why? Because it's reciprocity.
However, scientists are not satisfied with this answer, and they are conducting many studies to determine the factors that attract us to each other.
Here are some interesting tricks that will help you look at your existing acquaintances in a new light and quickly start a relationship.
1. Copy gestures
When you are talking to someone, try to copy their gestures, body movements and facial expressions. This strategy is known as mirroring, where you repeat the behavior of another person.
The chameleon effect occurs when people unconsciously imitate each other's behavior, and this behavior leads to liking.
2. Spend more time with the people you want to meet.
We usually like the people we know.
To demonstrate this phenomenon, psychologists conducted an experiment in which four women were required to be present in a class as students. Each of the women appeared in class different quantities once.
When male students were shown photographs of four women, they expressed greater liking for the women they saw more often, although they did not interact with them.
3. Give compliments
People will associate you with the words you use to describe other people.
In other words, everything you say about other people affects how you are seen. If you talk about others as sincere and good people, you are associated with these qualities. The opposite is also true; if you constantly badmouth someone behind their back, you will be associated with negative traits.
4. Express positive emotions
People are greatly influenced by the moods of others, and we subconsciously feel the emotions of those around us.
This may be because we naturally copy the movements and facial expressions of others, which helps us feel the same way as others.
If you want other people to be happy around you, try to express positive emotions.
5. Be friendly and competent
When you show yourself to be friendly, people feel like they can trust you. If you appear competent, they tend to respect you.
Psychologists believe that it is important to demonstrate friendliness first and then competence, since from an evolutionary point of view it is important to know whether a person is trustworthy.
6. Show your flaws from time to time.
People tend to like you more after you've made a mistake, but only if they think you're competent.
By showing your imperfections, you become more intimate and vulnerable, making it easier for others to connect with you.
7. Emphasize shared values
We are attracted to those who are similar to us. In one experiment, people were asked their opinions on various issues and then asked to live together. By the end of the experiment, people liked people more who had similar attitudes to them on various topics.
8. Touch
Subliminal touching occurs when we touch another person so subtly that they hardly notice it. Even a light pat on the back or a touch on the arm can make someone feel more warm towards you.
9. Smile
When you smile when you meet someone for the first time, there's a good chance they won't forget you.
In one experiment, participants looked at photographs of women in different poses: a smiling woman in an open and a closed pose, and a non-smiling woman in the same poses. The experiment showed that participants liked a smiling woman, regardless of her pose.
10. See others the way they would like to be seen.
People want to be perceived the way they perceive themselves. We all want confirmation of our opinions, whether negative or positive.
So if a person has a high opinion of himself, he prefers those who also have a high opinion of him, and people with negative attitude They prefer those who criticize them. This seems strange, but it is explained by the fact that we like to communicate with those who respond to us in a way that matches our self-image.
11. Tell a secret
This is one of the best ways start a relationship. If we communicate about very personal issues, we feel much more closer friend to a friend than if we were talking about trivial matters.
So, for example, when you're getting to know someone, you might start with simple questions, for example, asking about the movie the person last saw and then asking about the closer people in their life.
When you share personal information with another person, they feel closer to you and are more likely to trust you.
12. Show that you can keep secrets
People highly value integrity in relationships. Honesty, loyalty, and trustworthiness are perhaps the most important ingredients in friendships and relationships.
13. Show a sense of humor.
No matter what we think of as an ideal friend or partner, a sense of humor is important.
By using humor when dating, you greatly increase the chances that the other person will like you, and if you have a funny experience together, it increases romantic attraction.
14. Let others talk about themselves
Talking about ourselves gives us as much pleasure as food, money or sex.
In other words, when you allow another person to share a story about your life, it creates more positive memories of your interaction.
15. Be a little vulnerable
Emotional openness or closedness often explains why some people get along and some don't.
Of course, emotional openness comes with the risk of being vulnerable and the uncertainty of being accepted.
However, openness is very important in both friendships and romantic relationships.
16. Show them you like them.
When we think we like someone, we usually like that person too.
If we know that the other person will accept us, we become friendlier towards him, increasing the chances that he will actually like us.
Even if you are not sure about the other person's feelings, act as if you love them and there is a good chance that the feeling will be reciprocated.
A person’s greatest enemies are his thoughts. They torment you at night, interfere with your work, take away your appetite and gnaw out your soul from the inside. And it’s okay if they don’t gnaw so easily, but help solve some problem global problem. It’s worse when they interfere with your life because of a petty trifle and make you think all the time.
How can you get rid of an obsessive thought about a person you just like? How can you stop paying attention to him if he often flashes before your eyes, and your chances of “having an affair” with him are zero? Is it really that serious?
If you just like a guy, then this is not yet the person you love. You have sympathy for him for some reason, he arouses interest, but nothing more. But thoughts are already initially tuned to falling in love. This very moment cannot be missed, so as not to get seriously “infatuated” if there is no chance.
Do you remember how, as a child, it seemed to you that you were in love with several boys at once:
To Seryozha - because he has the most beautiful jacket.
Andryusha - because he draws better than anyone else.
To Dima - because he protected you from the nasty Lesha.
It’s funny to remember now, but as a child everything seemed serious.
It’s the same with sympathy in adulthood: if you switch, for example, from Seryozha to Andryusha, then Seryozha will very quickly be forgotten, and gnawing thoughts will quickly leave you. It will be strange and funny for you - “And what have I been filling my head with? There was nothing serious!”
By and large, what do you know about this person? The fact that he is handsome, an interesting conversationalist and has good manners? Yes, it attracts, as it does all women, not counting you.
But every person has their own dark sides. If only you could find out about them so that your sympathy turns into hostility. Even some little things:
He was once able to hit a woman. Yes, maybe it was a mistake of youth, but still there is a monster slumbering within him.
He stole the girl from best friend. A completely unreliable person who committed meanness and betrayal.
He owes a debt to a colleague and still does not repay the debt - he says that it is difficult with finances. And I recently went on vacation abroad. He's lying!
This all seems like insignificant little things. But in thoughts they can be blown from flies to elephants. You just need to start thinking that this is not the hero of your novel, because there is enough “darkness” in him.
And if it’s generally ideal for you, then you can turn its advantages into disadvantages:
Overly handsome- that means he was also a womanizer.
Earns well- means “walking over corpses”, making a career.
On good standing at the boss's- serves and fawns over him.
Ideal figure- narcissist and egoist. By the way, here it is.
Very smart- ugh, a bore and a bookworm, it can be boring with something like that.
Strict and purposeful- he is still a despot and a tyrant.
Moreover, these thoughts are not groundless. If you dig deeper into a person’s biography, in general this is how it happens. Why do women happily marry the holiest guy on earth, but divorce a terrible demon? That's right, because they didn't know all his dark sides. So don’t get yourself into trouble before it’s too late, thinking only good things about him.
Still from the film “Between an Angel and a Demon”
arrow_left Still from the film “Between an Angel and a Demon”
Do you really have nothing better to do than think about the person you like? Apparently, your life is so boring that you have filled your brain with only this guy, who, in general, does not belong to you.
Perhaps that’s why he doesn’t notice you: he’s not interested in you.
And how many opportunities are you missing when you could develop yourself comprehensively:
Take courses to learn an exciting business that can also bring you income.
Hanging out with friends at parties, on vacation, in nature, going on excursions, going to the theater.
Improve yourself as a woman - find your style, work on your character, get your figure in order.
Perhaps your boyfriend, who you like, only catches your gaze like a beaten dog, and does not notice any of your advantages. And as you can see, you don’t have them. Thoughts are only “about him and about him”, but otherwise there is emptiness in her head - there is nothing to distract her.
Take a closer look - maybe another man is in love with you?
There is no problem, you drove it into your head - you idealized the image of a person who became interesting to you. But for some reason you completely forgot that there are other men in the world who are attracted to you.
Take a closer look at your surroundings - maybe there is someone in it who also looks at you with the look of a beaten dog, but you just don’t notice him. Maybe this is the man who will become your loved one in the future.
What are the advantages of such a relationship:
He has known you for a long time, and therefore will be able to forgive all your antics. Don’t think that he is a maniac who is stalking you, he was just watching you because he was in love.
He will knock out the “wedge with wedge.” Having transferred your interest to another object, you will quickly forget about your handsome boyfriend, because perhaps a new feeling will arise in you.
You will raise your self-esteem. They love you, which means you are not a zero without a wand, and a girl is very good!
By the way, your changes can be noticed by the person you used to run after. There is a chance that he will begin to show signs of attention to you. But, thank God, it will be too late - your thoughts will already be filled with mutual love.
Take a closer look at other men - maybe yours is somewhere
If you don’t have a “wedge-wedge” yet, then you need to look for it. Bring in the heavy artillery: your girlfriends who are successful in love. Let them drag you to evil places.
You don't have to set the goal of falling in love for this. You just need to distract yourself for a while - caress your ears with compliments from men, diversify your life with dates and feel desired.
You will see that the light did not fall like a wedge on one person. It’s just that, perhaps, your feelings for him were the very first, and you still did not understand life outside of your fanaticism. And thanks to the variety, you will quickly calm yourself down.
By the way, if you’ve already found the strength to go “hiring” guys, you’ll need one more science so as not to seem like a beech among your girlfriends: .
Time will still heal
Don’t think that all these tips will turn your life into a continuous stream of happiness tomorrow. And yet, light sympathy passes faster compared to protracted love. You will act, and then your memory will immediately erase the image of your “ideal man.”
Finally - an unusual technique
Let's do a thought experiment.
Imagine that you have the superpower to “read” men. Like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man - and you immediately know everything about him and understand what’s on his mind. You could get any man and have ideal relationship and I would hardly read this article now in search of a solution to my problem.
And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you can’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.
We advise you to pay attention to the master class from Nadezhda Mayer. She is a candidate psychological sciences, and her technique has helped many girls find ideal relationships and feel loved.
If interested, you can sign up for a free webinar. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for visitors to our site.
