40 days after the death of a person. Important days after death

According to Christian canons, it is customary to commemorate dead people on the 3, 9 and 40 days after death. Besides, in church calendar special days for remembrance of the dead are indicated. Particular ritual significance is attached to the ninth day after death. According to tradition, on this day the relatives and friends of the deceased gather, remember his life’s journey and say kind words about him.

Calculating the exact date of the funeral

In order not to make a mistake, you need to count exactly 9 days from the moment of a person’s death, including the day of death itself. This also applies to cases where death occurred late in the evening or even at night, before midnight. For example, death occurred on March 2. Ninth day in in this case- not March 11, as would have happened with arithmetic addition (that is, 2 + 9 = 11), but March 10, including the day of death.

Examples:

What to do on the ninth day after death?

Funeral table

The funeral table on day 9 traditionally includes pies, pancakes, buns and baked goods in general. We should not forget about kutya. But you can completely give up alcoholic drinks on day 9. It is better to pay special attention to funeral speeches. The more kind words are said about the deceased, about his good deeds during life, the better his soul will be. Orthodox teachings interpret the posthumous state of soul as preparation for the afterlife within 40 days after death. Day 9, according to the canons, is the last day of the soul’s stay in heavenly tabernacles, and the rest of the time until the end of 40 days the soul will be in hell. Therefore, all the kind words spoken at the funeral table addressed to the deceased will be credited to him and will ease the burden of being in a place of suffering for sinners.

Visit to the church and cemetery

In the morning, before the wake, you are supposed to light a candle in the church and read funeral prayer about the deceased servant of God (name). On this day, the poor are given alms, given prosphora, cookies or buns, asking them to remember the name of the deceased person in prayers. After visiting the church, you need to visit the grave, leaving a treat there too. You can leave cookies, sweets at the cemetery, sprinkle kutya or millet for birds.

What else can you do on day 9?

Hanging mirrors in the deceased's home is not prescribed Orthodox rite. However, this tradition has been ingrained since ancient times. If the mirrors were hung at the time of death, on the 9th day the veils can be removed in all rooms except the room of the deceased, where they must be left until the end of 40 days.

40 days after death is an important date. What does it mean and how correctly, according to Christian traditions, to remember the dead so that they find eternal peace and God's grace. This question is often heard from people who are far from Orthodox traditions, but if the family of the deceased wants to pay a debt of memory and respect to a relative, everything should be done correctly. Therefore, we will tell you how to remember for 40 days after the death of a loved one.

Christians should remember dead friends and loved ones not only by days of mourning. True believers pray for the souls of their loved ones every minute. But there are dates when you must strictly follow the priest’s instructions. These are three, nine and forty days from the date of death.

The fortieth day is the most important for the soul of the deceased; she receives news of where she will wait Last Judgment.

But until this time, the soul is nearby, it is on earth: it sees everything, hears, and yearns. That is why you cannot indulge in grief for a long time, cry bitterly and ask the deceased to return. A person already suffers from the inability to change something, and grieving relatives bring even greater confusion.

A 40-day wake is an important and responsible event.

At this moment, Orthodox Christians should pray for the deceased, set the table, remember the earthly affairs of the deceased, visit the cemetery, and light a candle in the church for the repose. Order a prayer service in memory of the newly deceased servant of God. These actions make it easier for the soul to transition to another world and help those who are grieving to endure a bitter loss.

How should a believer respond to the death of a loved one?

Our ancestors believed in afterlife, the entire earthly path was preparing for the transition to a new state. Modern Orthodox Christians and fellow Catholics also believe in the posthumous existence of the soul. After death, we no longer influence where the incorporeal shell will be assigned, but relatives and friends are obliged to sincerely and fervently ask for leniency in order to soften the Lord. Only faith sacred words and warm memories can ease the fate of the newly deceased. Therefore, it is never too late to express grief and ask the Almighty for mercy. A man has died, but close relatives are asking for him.

Go to church, remember kind words the one who is dear.

Death is a stage life path. Sooner or later, the hour will come for everyone to die. After earthly existence The period of reckoning for what has been done is coming. There is no need to be afraid of the end of life; one should be afraid of punishment for unrighteous deeds and deeds.

The meaning of date in Christianity

Burying a loved one is difficult. 40 days after death, what the date means and how to properly remember the deceased - these are the questions people ask when faced with death. How to express grief, organize a farewell and memorial service, what to serve. In difficult times, relatives get lost and don’t know how to behave properly.

There is no exact answer to the question of why exactly the fortieth day is taken as the key point of the soul’s farewell to the earth. But Orthodox faith says that the power of prayer on this day can decide the fate of the soul going to heaven. This is the last chance given to influence the highest decision. That is why it is so important to observe the commemoration calendar.

The fortieth day is counted from the moment of death. It doesn't matter whether the sad event happened in the morning or in the evening. It is customary to count the ninth day in the same way. These dates are in Orthodox tradition called days of remembrance. It is necessary to observe all rituals and traditions so that the soul of the deceased can feel at ease and at peace.

A Christian, a baptized person is remembered with prayer. It is said in church and at home. Conduct funeral dinner, distribute alms to the needy. A mournful meal may be organized outside the house where the deceased lived.

40 is a sacred number. We will find confirmation of this fact in the Bible. So, Moses led the people through the desert for 40 years; After forty days, Jesus ascended to heaven.

After death, the soul goes on a journey: for the first 9 days it worships the Creator. Then, the angels lead her through the afterlife, showing her Heaven and Hell. Finally, God pronounces a verdict regarding her continued existence. After making a decision, the soul goes to permanent rest. Where the Last Judgment and Resurrection awaits.

There are strict requirements for the mourning dinner.

  • No alcohol.
  • Appropriate clothing.
  • Prohibition of loud conversations and funny songs.
  • You should not take a wake as an occasion to meet with friends and talk about abstract topics. Find another place and time for socializing.
  • Those gathered at the table must adhere to the Orthodox faith. Only they can help the soul of the newly deceased.

Remember, a wake is not a gathering of old friends. You cannot turn a memorial into an ordinary feast, this is a sin.

You should pray for the deceased not only on mourning dates. You need to turn to the Lord with requests starting from the first minutes of death. This will make it easier for the soul to find peace.

Main dishes of the funeral table

The funeral meal is simple. The rules become stricter when she is in office. But even if there are no restrictions on this day, refuse meat food. Get ready Lenten dishes: vegetables, fish. You cannot donate fast food to the temple.

For the church table they bring products such as cereals, bread, vegetable oil. They bring milk and eggs. Candies are suitable to please children.

Obligatory dishes at a funeral meal.

  • Kutya
  • Fish (baked or boiled)
  • Pancakes
  • Vegetable salads
  • Olivier or vinaigrette with herring
  • Lenten cabbage rolls

Complete the list of dishes following the advice of your confessor. He will tell you what to cook for your farewell dinner.

Among the drinks, preference is given to jelly, kvass, and traditional dried fruit compote.

Important! Ignorant people leave vodka on the grave. The Orthodox Church categorically prohibits following barbaric customs. Water, not strong drinks, is poured into a faceted glass that is placed near a photograph of the deceased house. Do not forget about traditions and stop attempts to mix pagan rituals with Orthodox canons.

Funeral words

To remember the deceased properly, you should say a few words about him. At a mourning dinner, it is considered the rule to make speeches. But it will be better if those gathered at the funeral feast honor the memory of their friend and relative with a minute of silence. A sad meeting at the funeral table is a time of memories: tell us how wonderful person there was a dead man, what he loved, what virtues he possessed. Tips for hosting an event:

  • The funeral speech is pronounced standing.
  • The host is chosen to be someone close to the family. He must be collected and keep the situation under control. Do not give in to emotions, be able to calm inconsolable relatives.
  • The ceremony director thinks through the speech in advance, prepares soothing phrases in case the words are interrupted due to sobs.

Speeches at funerals are always short so that everyone has the opportunity to speak. It is important to remember that death is not forever. The soul of the deceased passed into a new state. Demise loved one This is a serious test, but try to distract yourself from sad thoughts and support your friends and relatives.

The Church does not set strict time frames, but meets the parishioners halfway. The main thing is not to forget about the person: read a prayer, order a service, remember him in church. If the forties fall on a Sunday or Lent, then you can reschedule the funeral dinner and go to the cemetery. This rule also applies to the year from the date of death. It can also be celebrated earlier.

Significant dates memorial calendar– three, nine, forty days, anniversary of death.

Who should not be remembered

IN Christian tradition It is customary to remember only those who died from natural causes. Who else is not named in prayers:

  • Suicides
  • People who died or committed suicide while intoxicated or otherwise intoxicated
  • Apostates
  • Unbaptized
  • Atheists
  • Inovertsev

An exception is made only for those whose death occurred due to clouding of reason. People whose minds have been damaged as a result of illness are not excommunicated from church sacraments. They are buried, prayers are offered over the body, and they are remembered in the temple. This is due to the fact that the person who had gone crazy did not know what he was doing, which means there was no malicious intent.

Life is a great gift given by God. When a person neglects it, he is deprived of the right to church commemoration. Voluntary departure can only mean one thing - eternal torment and suffering of the soul.

They don’t light candles in churches for suicides, they don’t order memorial services. Relatives pray for them at home, privately. They give out alms and ask the Almighty for mercy towards the lost soul. People need to remember this whenever the thought of putting an end to suffering and troubles at once creeps into their minds.

Distribution of things and alms

An integral part of commemoration is the distribution of the deceased's belongings to charity. For 40 days, be sure to sort through what belonged to the deceased during his lifetime: distribute memorable, dear trinkets to friends and acquaintances - this is the right and Christian act. Take clean and unworn items to the temple and offer them to those who are poor. This is not just a ritual or sign, but an act of mercy and good will. It will be credited both to the one who does good and to the soul of the deceased in the next world.

Relatives leave things that remind them of their relative.

What prayer to read for 40 days

Prayers are read at home for the repose of the soul. It is not necessary to learn words by heart. The main thing is that they come from the heart. The clergy say that God hears us when we sincerely ask for help. They also say a prayer to Saint War:

Oh, venerable holy martyr Uare, we kindle with zeal for the Lord Christ, you confessed the Heavenly King before the tormentor, and for Him you suffered zealously, and now the Church honors you, as you are glorified by the Lord Christ with the glory of Heaven, Who has given you the grace of great boldness towards Him, and now you stand before Him with the Angels, and rejoice in the Highest, and see clearly the Holy Trinity, and enjoy the light of the Beginning Radiance, remember also our relatives' yearning, who died in wickedness, accept our petition, and like Cleopatrine, you freed the unfaithful race from eternal torment with your prayers , so remember those who were buried in opposition to God, who died unbaptized, striving to ask for deliverance from eternal darkness, so that we may all praise the Most Merciful Creator with one mouth and one heart forever and ever. Amen.

Whatever events happen in life, sad or joyful, people should remember that God is watching over them. Supports in difficult times, encourages, instructs, rejoices when life gets better. This statement is first of all worth remembering when death comes to the house. In the first minutes and hours, it is important not to lose heart, to help the disembodied essence of the deceased safely pass the tests on the way to Paradise.

Commemoration of the deceased is not a tribute to traditions or unquestioning observance of Christian customs. A prayer said without faith is a meaningless set of words. This is painstaking and difficult work that falls on the shoulders of those who remain on earth. Our task is to provide the soul with a comfortable transition to another world, to give the opportunity to rest in Christ, to atone for lifetime sins.

The value of any life largely correlates with the fact that it ends sooner or later. According to Orthodox tradition, after the funeral the soul of the deceased awaits a transition to another world. It is believed that the future fate of a person depends not only on the acts he committed during his lifetime, but also on how his relatives and friends remember him. Special meaning for self-determination of the soul in the afterlife there are 9 and 40 days after death. So how should they be celebrated?

General rules for funerals

Orthodox Christians organize funerals to pay tribute to a deceased relative. People remember the good deeds done by a person during his lifetime, celebrate him positive traits. At a wake, you should never make a scandal, argue or quarrel. Negative emotions relatives and friends, as they say, can complicate the path of the soul of the deceased to a better world.

For the same reason, sobs, despair and loud regrets about the departure of a loved one are inappropriate. In the Orthodox tradition, death is considered an inevitable and natural outcome of life; it is not a tragedy at all. Believers believe that to a good person don't be afraid God's judgment. Therefore, at a wake it is customary to behave calmly, restrainedly and kindly.

A joint meal brings together relatives, friends and colleagues of the deceased. It is not allowed to send out invitations to funerals. It is believed that everyone to whom this is important should inquire about the place and time of this event themselves. But it is not forbidden to casually mention in a conversation the efforts that relatives are busy with regarding the organization of a funeral meal. This will tell the person that he should come if he himself considers it necessary to attend this event.

Despite Russian table traditions, Orthodox funerals do not involve the consumption of alcoholic beverages. Although this rule is often violated, because the popular ideas about a worthy send-off of the deceased to another world in this matter do not coincide with religious canons. But in any case, the wake should not turn into a banal drinking session, because this is a sacred event, and not a reason for fun and dancing.

As a rule, it is customary to dress modestly at a wake, in dark-colored clothing. Scarves are required for women. If the deceased was an elderly person, then the relatives of the deceased mourn for 40 days from the moment of his death. Young people who tragically passed away - husbands, wives, children - are mourned for up to 1 year, all this time adhering to dark tones in clothing.

9 days - the ordeal of the soul begins

According to religious canons, on the ninth day after death, the so-called ordeal of the soul begins, when it overcomes various obstacles created by sins. Angels help the deceased in this. As a result, the good deeds a person has done during his lifetime must outweigh his bad deeds.

The funeral, organized on the 9th day, is designed to help the soul of the deceased overcome all obstacles on the way to eternal life. Therefore, on this date, relatives order a funeral prayer service in the church, light candles in front of the icons and read prayers so that the Almighty will accept the soul of the deceased into His Kingdom. And in the house you can light a lamp in memory of the departed person.

On this day, relatives and everyone who feels the need to visit the grave and bring flowers there. It is believed that for a person whose soul has begun the stage of repentance and cleansing from sins, it is important how the living remember him and whether they pray for him.

An obligatory dish during a funeral meal is kutia. This is porridge, which is prepared from whole wheat grains (less often from barley, rice or other cereals) with the addition of nuts, raisins or other sweets, the dish is poured with honey or honey syrup. As a rule, kutya is served at the very beginning of the wake.

The list of treats offered to guests on day 9 varies depending on the region of Russia. But there are also general points. Immediately after kutya, the first course is served - soup or cabbage soup. The second can be meat or lean, it all depends on what time the commemoration occurred. In addition, fish dishes and jelly are often on the table. And the meal ends with pancakes or pancakes.

Drinks that are traditionally drunk at funerals include compote, kvass and jelly. The owners can also prepare various porridges, pies, cabbage rolls, stuffed peppers, and vegetable salads. In addition, there are usually apples and other fruits on the table.

On the 9th day after the death of a relative, it is customary to give alms to people in churches and cemeteries with a request to pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased. Treats left over from the wake are also distributed.

40 days - final goodbye

A very important milestone in saying goodbye to the deceased is 40 days after his death. It is at this time that the human soul is believed to finally leave our mortal world. For the Orthodox this is significant date, which separates earthly life from eternal.

After 40 days, the soul can visit places important to it for the last time, see relatives and friends, and then is accepted into Heaven final decision O future fate deceased. Therefore, these commemorations are very important, because the kind words spoken by people about the deceased will certainly be taken into account by the High Court.

On this day, you should definitely order a funeral service in the church and pray for the soul of the deceased. During the funeral meal, it is forbidden not only to consume alcoholic drinks, but also sing songs and have fun. The meal, as a rule, differs little from the 9-day funeral, except that instead of the first course, a variety of salads are served. Kutya and rich pancakes or pancakes are obligatory dishes of this meal.

At the table for 40 days, it is customary to remember not only the deceased, but also other relatives who have left the world of the living in the foreseeable past. Guests take turns delivering funeral speeches. And the person who is given the floor must stand up. Then the deceased should be honored with a minute of silence.

For 40 days, the things of the deceased should be distributed to those who need them. At the same time, people are asked to remember the deceased with a kind word. Relatives keep only photographs and other items valuable as a memory of dear person. If no one took one of the deceased’s things, then it should not be thrown away, but should be taken to a temple or given to charity.

Even in works of scientific content related to exact sciences It is not difficult to find disagreements in theories and exceptions to accepted rules, and in matters of faith and religion, there are more than enough differences in interpretations and explanations of traditions.

Thus, finding the only correct remembrance of 9 and 40 days after death simply does not exist. Below you will find the answers given various representatives spiritual world, and Interesting Facts and very important tips.

Version of Representatives of the Sretensky Monastery.

Why is the 9th day celebrated after death?

On the ninth day, the deceased is remembered in order to honor the 9 orders of angels, who, being servants of the King of Heaven and our representatives to Him, intercede with Him for pardon of the deceased person.

It is believed that from the third to the ninth day, the soul of the deceased resides in the heavenly abodes, where it:

1.Forgets her past sorrow that she had to leave her body and the ordinary world.

2. Realizes that she served God so little while on earth, she reproaches herself for this and grieves.

On the ninth day, the Lord sends Angels to bring the soul to worship. Before the throne of the Lord God, the soul trembles and is in great fear.

At this time, the Holy Church, in prayers for the deceased, asks the Almighty to make a decision to accept the soul of her child.

From days 9 to 40, the soul goes to hell, where it observes the torment of sinners who do not deserve forgiveness, and trembles with fear.

That is why it is so important to spend the ninth day in remembrance and prayers for the deceased.

Why is the 40th day after death celebrated?

The history and tradition of the Church say that 40 days is the period necessary for the soul to prepare to accept help and the Divine gift from the Heavenly Father.

The number 40 appears repeatedly in church traditions:

*After a 40-day fast, the Prophet Moses talked with the Lord on Mount Sinai and received the tablets of the law.

*On the 40th day, Jesus Christ ascended to heaven after His Resurrection.

*The Israelites wandered for 40 years before reaching the promised land.

Church representatives took all the facts described above into account and decided to hold a memorial on the 40th day after death. With their prayers they help the soul to ascend the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai and see the Lord God, achieve bliss and find itself in the company of the righteous in heavenly villages.

In 9 days, after worshiping the Lord, the Angels show the soul hell, in which the souls of unrepentant sinners suffer in torment. On the 40th day, coming to the Lord for the third time (the first time the soul comes on the 3rd day), the soul receives a sentence: a place is assigned in which it will remain until the Last Judgment.

This is precisely why church commemorations and prayers are so important on this day; they help to atone for sins and allow the purified soul to enter Paradise with the saints.

How to calculate 9 days from the date of death:

People often make the mistake of starting from next day after death. In fact, the countdown time should be the day on which the deceased left this world, even if this happened late in the evening (before 12:00).

Thus, if a person died on December 2, then December 10 will become ninth day after death. Adding numbers mathematically (December 2 + 9 days = December 11) and starting counting from the next day after death is incorrect.

On the ninth day you can remove the veils from the mirrors.

On the ninth day after the death of the deceased, you can remove the veils from the mirrors in the house (in all except the bedroom of the deceased). It is noteworthy that hanging mirrors is a non-Orthodox tradition. These are echoes of an old Russian belief, which says that in the mirrors the soul of the deceased can get lost and not find the way to the next world.

On the ninth day, the wake should be modest.

Alcohol at a feast is optional, and according to the popular opinion of primordially religious people, it is a completely unnecessary attribute. In table conversation one should remember the good deeds and good deeds of the deceased. It is believed that every good word spoken about the deceased will be credited to him.

Hegumen Fedor (Yablokov) about the commemoration: Remembrance must be prayerful. This is often forgotten, reducing wakes to a feast, and wakes without sincere commemoration of the deceased have no meaning.

Drinking at funerals and wakes is not only unnecessary, but also harmful for the deceased. There should be no alcohol on the table at all, or a minimal amount. Taking alcohol or drugs in these cases is not a tradition, it is an attempt by a godless person to hide, to escape from reality.

There is no need to fill the entire table with dishes; the table should be modest.

When gathering for a wake, people gather for prayer, for prayerful remembrance of the deceased, and not for the purpose of having a holiday of gluttony. An obligatory dish according to tradition is kutya, over which a special prayer must be read.

For 40 days, you must avoid any mourning events; you can come to the memorial in any strict, non-seductive clothing.

Archimandrite Augustine (Pidanov) on traditions and superstitions: Nowadays, you can often come across superstitions skillfully disguised as traditions.

Superstition is indifference, vanity, and a meaningless attitude towards faith. Firstly, some superstitions contradict the concepts and traditions of faith, and secondly, some superstitions simply do not leave time for faith in our lives.

For example, at first glance, there is nothing wrong with a person covering a mirror. But a person burdens all his thoughts with the need to remember to cover the mirrors, not finding time to pray for the souls of loved ones. There shouldn't be any booze on the table, and don't be afraid that anyone will judge you.

Everything depends only on you, whether you organize a wake for the deceased or a drinking party for the sake of relatives and friends.

Archimandrite Augustine (Pidanov) about the funeral service: The funeral service is nothing more than a prayer service, approved by the church as a farewell and farewell to guide people to another world.

Many people mistake a funeral service for a ritual or tradition. In the process of carrying out the ritual, people try to make the incomprehensible understandable, but in fact, behind the form of the funeral service there is much more important and greater value both for the soul of the deceased and for the living. D

To find answers to questions related to leading Christians to last way, you should contact the clergy directly. Only in this way can you avoid mistakes and conduct a funeral service, bringing the greatest benefit to the soul of the deceased, without wasting time on superstitions.

Orthodoxy considers the fortieth day after the funeral extremely important date, the same as the ninth. Accepted canons Christian faith they say that it is on this day that the soul of the deceased receives an answer about where it will spend eternity. It is believed that the soul is still on earth for 40 days, but after this day it leaves it forever and moves to its designated place.

A wake for 40 days after death is a mandatory event that should be done correctly.

How does a believer approach death?

IN Ancient world There was no such thing as a birthday, and people did not celebrate this date. There is a theory according to which it is for this reason that the time of the birth of Jesus Christ was not precisely indicated. But another date was much more important - the moment of death, when the spirit met the Creator.

Ancient people believed in afterworld, so their whole life was preparation for this transition. Today's Christians also believe in the transition to another life, through the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ, therefore believers should not be afraid of death, because this is only the moment of meeting God.

The wake on the 40th day after death is a celebration of this transition, after forty days of preparation of the soul for this.

Important articles:

Majority Christian denominations They believe that after the soul leaves the body, nothing can be done to influence eternal life, much less bring repentance to the Creator. However, after this, emotions and memories are retained, so that the person is aware of everything.

Advice! Thus, death is the transition of the spirit from the body to another world, where it reaps the fruits of its earthly actions. That is why she should not be afraid, and believers should not feel horror, but everyone should prepare by doing good deeds and giving alms.

Memorial service

Why 40 days and what happens during this time

Why is this date so important and why exactly this number of days?

Nobody knows this for sure. But it is the Orthodox faith that has a unique view of the afterlife and believes that prayer on the fortieth day can influence the verdict that our God will pronounce on the soul.

The countdown starts from the day of death, i.e. it is considered the first day, regardless of the time recorded by doctors or loved ones, even if the person died in the evening. It is also determined that both dates, together with the day of repose, are considered memorial, i.e. On these dates it is customary to remember the deceased. A Christian is remembered through prayer, church and home, as well as dinner and alms.

Related articles:

Tradition says that 40 days is the time needed to prepare the soul to receive the Divine gift from the Heavenly Father. This is the number that appears repeatedly in the Bible:

  • Moses fasted for forty days before his conversation with Yahweh at Sinai, during which he was given the 10 commandments;
  • 40 days after death, Christ ascended (which is especially important);
  • The Jewish campaign to the Promised Land lasted 40 years.

Theologians took into account all these facts and decided that 40 days are needed for the soul to receive a decision from the Heavenly Father about where it will spend eternity. And at this time, the church and relatives are praying for her, trying to beg the Creator for mercy and for the cleansing of the deceased from sins.

What happens during this time? The soul wanders: in the first nine days it worships God, on the ninth day the angels show it hell, and on the 40th day the Heavenly Father pronounces its verdict on it.

During this time, the resting spirit will have to endure the most terrible test - to visit hell and watch how sinners suffer. It is this test that the prayers of the church and the Guardian Angel help to withstand.

  • It is important to ask the church to pray for the deceased, so it is worth ordering services in the church:

funeral services.

But it is much more important for relatives and friends to sincerely and fervently ask the Lord for mercy for the deceased. In addition, you can read a prayer to Saint War for the repose of your soul.

Prayer service to Saint War

“Oh, venerable holy martyr Uare, we kindle with zeal for the Lord Christ, you confessed the Heavenly King before the tormentor, and you suffered earnestly for Him, and now the Church honors you, as you are glorified by the Lord Christ with the glory of Heaven, Who has given you the grace of great boldness towards Him , and now you stand before Him with the Angels, and rejoice in the Highest, and clearly see the Holy Trinity, and enjoy the light of the Beginning Radiance, remember also our relatives' yearning, who died in wickedness, accept our petition, and like Cleopatrine, the unfaithful race was freed from eternal torment by your prayers You, therefore, remember those who were buried against God, who died unbaptized, striving to ask for deliverance from eternal darkness, so that with one mouth and one heart we may all praise the Most Merciful Creator forever and ever. Amen".

Icon of the martyr Huar

Procedure: funeral rules On the fortieth day, the spirit of the deceased returns home for a day and after that leaves the earth forever.

  1. Legends say that if the spirit does not attend the funeral itself, it will suffer for all eternity, so it is definitely worth setting the table on this day and gathering to remember the deceased, but this must be done correctly.
  2. Pray: on this day, for all 40 days and in the future, remember the deceased;
  3. When ordering a memorial service, you must renounce any of your sins, for your own benefit and to console the soul of the deceased;
  4. Make a donation to the temple;
  5. Gather at a common table all those who are close to the deceased and Orthodox Christians;
  6. Prepare special dishes;
  7. Don't sing songs.

A wake is not a celebration or a celebration, it is a moment of grief and petition. It is highly inappropriate to drink alcoholic beverages, sing songs or listen to music at this time. They take place for 1-2 hours, when believers remember the departed and pray for him.

Therefore, it is important that only Christians are present at the dinner who can share this time of grief with the family and support them spiritually.

What to cook

The meal is simple, especially if there is a general church fast. Even if there is no fasting, you should avoid eating meat and under no circumstances donate it to the temple.

Lunch can be arranged both at home and in a cafe. If the deceased was a regular parishioner, the priest may allow the memorial to be held in the church house after the end of the memorial service. Lunch is a continuation of the rite of worship, so it must be done with dignity.

There are a number of dishes that have been prepared for such dinners since ancient times. They are simple and satisfying.

A mandatory dish is considered to be fish, which is cooked in a large pan, and fish, which can be served in any form. Baked or fried meat is not welcome on tables. You need to make your meal as lean as possible in order to benefit not only the spirit, but also the body.

In addition to kutia and fish, you can put on the table:

  • rich pancakes;
  • fish sandwiches (with sprats or herring);
  • vegetable salads: beets with garlic, vinaigrette, herring under a fur coat, Olivier salad;
  • cutlets: regular meat or stuffed with mushrooms and cheese;
  • peppers stuffed with rice and meat;
  • fish aspic;
  • lean cabbage rolls (filled with vegetables and mushrooms with rice);
  • baked fish;
  • pies: fish, cabbage, rice, mushroom, potato or sweet (charlotte).

There are also a number of drinks that should be on the funeral table:

  • kvass;
  • lemonades;
  • sbiten;
  • fruit drink and juice;
  • jelly: can be made from both berries and oatmeal.
Important! It is imperative to remember that the church prohibits drinking alcoholic beverages at such events, as well as leaving vodka on the grave of the deceased. During dinner, they remember the deceased, and with him other deceased relatives and friends.

Funeral meal

Funeral speech

At such meals, it is imperative to make a speech, at the end of which everyone should honor the deceased with a minute of silence.

It is best if there is a manager, someone close to the family, but who controls his emotions and maintains sobriety. His responsibilities will include not only monitoring preparations for the meeting (supervising staff if the event is in a cafe), but also giving the floor to relatives.

Usually everyone in the family tries to say something about the deceased. And the manager controls the time of speaking and the order (close relatives should come first - spouse, parents or children, etc.

Grief is quite expected at such an event, so the manager must prepare and divert attention from the crying person to himself in a timely manner. It is worth remembering that a person did not die forever, but went into better life and this fact can be recalled in especially sorrowful moments.

Important! If a priest is invited to a meal, then he must serve a prayer service and give a sermon. If the remembrance takes place in a small circle, then all those gathered should pray for the deceased and, if possible, read a memorial service or prayer service on their own. At this time it is recommended to light church candles.

What to talk about in such a speech? The man suddenly passed away and it would be appropriate to remember what he was like, his good deeds and distinctive qualities. There is no point in remembering grievances and strife, if they have left resentment in the heart, this best time

to talk about forgiveness. It is necessary to remember a person only on the good side, to describe some joint affairs, to remember a funny incident or a particularly touching one.

A funeral speech is a sad speech, but not melancholy. Man has not ceased to exist, he is simply now in a different form and world.

  • Who is not remembered
  • suicides;
those who died under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Important! If a person independently decides to neglect the main thing God's gift

- life, then the Church has no right to remember him as a believer. You can pray for such people in person and do alms in memory of them, but prayer services are not held for them.

Questions usually arise about whether the church serves prayer services for dead babies, and the ruling bishop answers: one should definitely pray for the baby, regardless of age or cause of death. It is believed that the Lord, by taking children, protects them from a difficult fate in adulthood.

It is extremely important for parents to humbly accept His will and pray for their child.

Alms Tradition Orthodox Church

At the same time, asking people to pray for him and asking the Lord to grant him eternal life in paradise. This is a good deed, which can also influence the final decision of the Lord God about the spirit of the deceased.

You can leave personal items and those that are valuable as a memory of the deceased to the family. If there is no needy person nearby, then the things can be taken to the temple and left with the priest, who will find them a new owner.

Important! Almsgiving is a good deed, which, like prayer, affects the eternal life of the deceased.

Watch the funeral video